Phatmunkay

Ok Now Look Over HERE!

2007-11-17T22:20:00.000-08:00

HERE!!! I'm posting over HERE!!! Don't ask why. Other than the fact that at this rate I'll have nothing on my "work" blog. And frankly I'm tired of keeping the two worlds separate. So I'm joining the two in a Phatmunkay coming out of the closet party!

Can't believe I...

2007-11-15T22:31:00.001-08:00

missed two nites of posting! Bad NaPoBloMo participant! For the last two nights (actually 3) I've been painting, and painting, and painting. With no end in site. So annoying. I've become slightly maniacal about it, even going home at lunch to... yes, you guessed it, paint. I've done little else. My deadline, I think (who knows since no one seems to know when it is or want to tell me what the deliverables are...) is approaching. And the pit in my stomach is there in that I'm hoping I'm on the right track. Sigh.

The House of Colorful Fruit

2007-11-12T23:11:00.000-08:00

Well, tonight I came home and painted some of our walls. The wall behind the fireplace "tangerine" and the opposite wall "pear". Eyeing up a grapey color for one of the entry walls, a lemony color for the kitchen and a hotpinky berry for the sliver of wall facing inward to the kitchen. We'll see how it works out! So far we're really digging it. I just really love playing with color. It's 11 and we just finished. So I think it's time to say goodnight!

The Year of Baths

2007-11-11T19:11:00.000-08:00

I just got out of one of the hottest baths I've ever taken. My heart is pounding and I can feel the blood coursing through my body. It's early. Today was a magical day in that somehow we managed to enjoy ourselves, get a decent amount of work done, have a heart to heart talk with each other, have a conversation with a friend I've been really missing, and finish all of it early enough to eat dinner in a restaurant, bathe and it's only 7:30?!

Somehow we bent the time space continuum. I wonder if it's the paint fumes?

Today we woke up, and I read some of Jeremy Keith's Bulletproof AJAX. I haven't "handwritten" code since college classes (I took them later in life, but still it's probably been 11 years.) It feels different than typing. I'm the same way with writing (compositions). Only recently have I been able to seriously compose on a computer. I don't mean emails or blogs, but essay type things. Anything that I truly want to understand it seems I have to write it or at least part of it (in a journal) by hand. My way of learning, I guess. That and in a one computer household, where you're better half is catching up on an episode of Ugly Betty, you have to make do.

We hopped in "the new one" and rode to get waffles. You know a place is good when you go back the following weekend and have the same thing. Either that or you know you're old, unadventurous farts who just want a sure thing... I like to think we're the former, although if it were cheaper before 5pm you can rest assured we'd be there for the "early bird special." Such is my life these days.

In the middle of chawing our way through the Sausage and Gravy over a cornmeal waffle, with the Tiramisu waffle in toe for "dessert" (that really is the beauty of breakfast... when else can you have a sweet component of your meal and it not be considered dessert?) when the phone rang. It was a 602 area code. I have to say there are a lot of things in AZ that I really wouldn't want to pick the phone up for. Conversations I don't have time for or really care about. But there is a friend that makes me run the risk everytime of picking up. So I did. He had just gotten back from New York attending the Future of Web Design conference. He had previously left a voicemail listing off everyone I would eat my toes off to meet. In theory of course, I'm way to socially inappropriate to feel comfortable shmoozing with any of those dudes. That's where Noah came in handy. The social yin to my yang... and I'm not sure what my yang contribution was. Acting the fool, I suspect.

We worked together at ASU and after we hung up I so missed my old job and friends, I literally cried. I know. It's really embarrassing. Although I have to say some of the old shennanigans with upper management sound as if they are really taking the cake... and THAT I don't miss!

We talked about web stuff. He told me he had lunch with Khoi Vinh, and a girl who didn't know who he was... which you know... I mean who would, except that you're at the Future of Web Design conference, and well, pretty much eating lunch with it. But that would have easily have been me, I'm sure although I would have probably followed it up with some obscene comment about anything to really drive home everyone's discomfort.

And then he told me about the workshop he had with Josh Davis, and he relayed something he knew I'd like: How Josh Davis derives his color palettes. Let's get one thing straight. I'm pretty much a whore to know how anyone gets their color palettes. But this was pretty crazy... His wife digs flowers, they go to a lot of flower markets, he takes pictures, pulls it into Photoshop, applies a guassian blur of 10 pixels (forgive me Mr. Davis if I'm totally hacking your process, this is like when you play telephone... I'm pretty sure I've gotten only about 5% of it right...), then he saves it out as a .gif with only 72 colors, eliminating the ones he doesn't like and so on. He then writes a php script to go in and pull the rgb (or was it hex, shit...) values to apply to his generated art.

I don't know why I'm just a sucker for that shit. I mean it would seem a really complicated rigamarole... but it just really lights my fire. After getting the scoop from him and having to bear listening to him name drop all of the fabulous folks he met, and me saying "so was he REALLY an asshole?!?" over and over again, I had to go because I had to go paint my living room.

Uh. Yeah. The good news, I managed to cry and figure out why. I really haven't done that in a while. I rarely get weepy lately, unless out of pure exhaustion. But I realized, I really missed all of the really cool things we used to do in our group. Some of the guys are doing things I wish I could do, that I'm trying to learn more of now, and my current job is really solitary. But I also realized that if it weren't for me leaving I wouldn't have realized the value of my wonderful boss - ok, he totally pissed me off sometimes, but the beauty was I never had to hesitate to let him know, and the quirky dudes I work with. That they were, even though I realized it really just today, my friends. I'm kind of retarded when it comes to friendships. I mean a blog is a little too demanding, so hopefully that drives the point home.

The one consolation was that I'm staying in touch with those I enjoyed, and also if I hadn't left, I would have never really forced myself to learn those things. I worked with such a talented group, that if you wanted something built, you just had to share the idea, and it was on the server the next day. So it's good for me. I'm slowly hoping to branch out and make that niche for myself here, somehow.

The rest of the day was spent priming the living room (and a small room off of that) and painting the ceiling. It was so dingy! I really hope there isn't some major problem with our fireplace, as it seemed really sooty. But we had the fireplace guy out and he assured us all was copacetic. He also later brought us some epazote, but I digress.

While we painted I asked Papi what he felt defined him. He said that his patience and ability to maintain low stress. Those two things were really important to him, and really make him who he is. I'll say. Couldn't be my husband, otherwise, I don't think. I on the other hand, said work. What I do every day, not necessarily the way I do it, but what I come up with... did I learn something? Did I solve a problem? Was I innovative? Usually the answer is no! I mean I usually learn something, but rarely get to apply it... Hoping soon though. But it was a good conversation. That and I realized I'm apparently fucking the Dalai Lama.

Wow, what a difference when I blog earlier other than 10 seconds before I go to bed! I've got a sexy video downstairs waiting for me: The HBO version of Elizabeth with Jeremy Irons and Helen Mirren - Part 1 and 2... I tell you, the excitement never ends in this place!

Movie time!

2007-11-10T21:51:00.000-08:00

Off to watch a movie... on our tv. Not too exciting. But we did rent the Mirren/Irons version of Elizabeth, so I can't wait to get into that. First we watch Papi's though. Sigh :) Today I started painting our house. It was a slow manifestation. Papi got info that a group/organization he was interested in was meeting today so he headed out to Salem. Leaving me in a very quiet house. I read some, and then decided to turn on some music. I haven't really played my music on our system because I've had my music on my laptop. Today I got the wild hair to connect them to our speakers. Duh. Why didn't I do this sooner?! So stupid. So I connected our speakers and the morning was filled with some crazy ass dance moves. My basement a veritable disco of activity. It felt amazing. I did exercise for exercises sake. And it felt GOOD. The remainder of the day I returned the 5 gallon primer to HD and Felipe had arrived in time to go with. We got our primer, picked up a green paint for the living room, and off to get a wirless router, a "car kit" for our ipod so we could charge it and connect it to the stereo. I'm pretty sure next week I'm driving the new car for sure!

Got home and we started priming. The fireplace took forever. And we didn't get far, but it felt good to at least get started. Tomorrow I'm hoping to write in the am so that I'm not tired!

Ok, a for real post, kind of...

2007-11-10T00:01:00.000-08:00

Tired. Went to a movie with Boegle, Tyler and Papi. I have a really annoying eye thing right now. It just aches. Feels like it might be a sty although there is no evidence. I tried some eyedrops from Boegle and it helped some, but it's still achey. Hopefully it'll be better tomorrow!

We went and watched Elizabeth: The golden age. It was ok. Quite a spectacle. The clothing/costumes/jewelry/hats were phenomenal. I think if I could have turned the sound off, it would have been an amazing film. It wasn't horrible, but a bit over the top with the melodrama, lack of depth to the characters. I realized on the way home that while she kept proclaiming her love of her people - I wasn't seeing it. In Elizabeth's past - hell even the other one played by Blanchett, I bought the fact that she had signed on to her role and was in it for the people.

This one I think was more about her clothes and failed to make me see the intelligence, wile and leadership that Elizabeth was known for. But there were some phenomenal glory shots. In looking for some of pictures of the costumes I ran across this: The Other Boleyn Girl. Oh god. I must say I've ogled this book before and felt slightly dirty about reading it, as it's fiction. But a movie. Well, now. THAT'S not trashy!

There was one dress that I was trying to find that looked like it was silver chain mail. The other was Phoebe's favorite that was green brocade. Really amazing.

Ok. I'm zonked!

In under the wire... barely

2007-11-10T00:00:00.001-08:00

Not sure this counts as I think it will officially be after midnight!

Day of podcasts

2007-11-08T21:56:00.000-08:00

Today was a day of podcast listening. I've been listening to a series on ODEO about AJAX patterns. Parts of them cross over, in that a pattern is kind of a pattern - be it AJAX or Flash. Not that I know how to do either one! But for some reason, it's interesting. After last nights meeting I researched the idea of "attention". It wasn't something I was familiar with. I had been remotely aware that the powers that be have their ways of following my every move online, but I had yet to see how these things were beneficial. In comes sites like Engagd, Cluztr, and Particls that utilize APML (Attention Profiling Markup Language) to keep track of what you bookmark, subscribe to, email, etc. It's like an uber journal :) I'm slightly enticed.

I also listened to about a year old podcast by Seth Goldstein from I believe it was the 2006 O'Reilly emerging technology conference who stated that attention is a commodity. That it can have actual dollar signs attached (kind of creepy). But in finally working in the private sector I see the importance of "leads". And what people are willing to pay per. In his lecture he stated that at one point last year the army was willing to pay $2000 for 15 lines of information from a potential recruit. email addresses are worth .30 cents, phone numbers $1... and so on. I'd honestly never thought about it.

I love portland.

2007-11-07T22:31:00.001-08:00

Tonight was my night on the town. I had even rushed to buy a car so that I could make it to the PDX Web Innovators night at Jive Software. It was about RSS feeds and a group called Attensa that is making an interesting product. But I digress.

I was horribly nervous as I figured this is going to be a group of developers and I'm really a designer in developer groupie clothing. I don't know what it is. I LOVE to hear engineers/software engineers/enter an interesting problem solver here - I love to hear them talk about stuff. But I worried I'd be way out of my league and feel horribly inadequate. More so than usual! :)

So in my nerves I balked. I'm REALLY tired, I thought. It's been a really long week. I was social AND productive AND creative LAST night. Isn't that enough? So in hemming and hawing the one thing that spurred me forward is that I just HAD to have that car this weekend to make it to this thing and I'd feel like a real asshole if I didn't make it.

So I drove downtown, trolled for parking, succumbing to a cheap pay lot, and headed toward Jive. On my way I found an Ethiopian restaurant. I was starving. I knew they'd have pizza, but I just cringed at the vision of me either wolfing down my food nervously and feeling ill, or being so uncomfortable and self conscious I sat there picking at it, looking around trying not to make contact or staring into my plate. Christ.

So I went inside and ordered the Tibs. The food was ok. It really hit the spot, though. But more than anything the woman that worked there seemed to know exactly what I needed. I sat eating the food that was warm and slightly familiar - not to insult this place but the tibs reminded me of my moms taco meat (although this was meat chunks, not ground). As I was eating she came out and asked me if I liked tea. I said Sure!? What's not to like.

She came back with a medium sized mug in a tupperware plate that had a slice of lime and a small container of sugar with a plastic spoon. It smelled of cinnamon and ginger. I squeezed lots of lime in and added the sugar. It was like nothing I've tasted. It was phenomenal. So utterly simple. I asked her later and she said it was a green tea, and she added cinnamon and ginger. "It's good for the immune system. With this we don't need to take medicines." Well I hope she's right. I've had this weird feeling in my chest and throat for weeks.

So reinforced I trundled out onto the street. Heading the wrong way as usual. Asked a stranger which way to Alder and then righted myself. I came to a vestibule with a bunch of softwarey dudes hanging out and a pizza man, and figured this must be it.

Went up. I choose to move and sit in the corner with a rather interesting fellow. I still can't quite figure out what was up. But we started off fine, and then it became apparent after he got the free pizza he seemed bored with the talk, and really fidgetty. Kinda freeeaky. But I guess we all have our quirks!

The talk was interesting and I didn't feel at all uncomfortable. Other than my quirky seatmate. What I found most interesting were the ways they were looking to filter the feeds. And intelligently monitor how I as a user decide what I read... maybe I seem to always choose a specific blog and read all of it, these items would float to the top. Or perhaps I always seem to choose items distinguished by certain keywords or tags. The rules would be based on how I view my feeds and it would learn and change. Cool.

There was a lot more as to how this would be useful in business, but while I thought it clever, it's such a different environ from the one I'm in and have been in - I couldn't imagine it! It's like asking an anorexic to imagine eating a cheeseburger. But in a way I'd really love to be in an environment where I could tag blog postings for my boss or have the ability to have staff post a feed via email. I was really wishing I had that capability today while redundantly coding a newsletter for web and email. We badly need to get a more dynamic CMS - that would solve a lot of our problems.

One guy brought up an interesting issue of "group think" but I almost took his question to be more of "What happens when our filters get too good? And we are only reading what we care about and getting more and more disinterested in the rest of the world?" I don't know that he was actually thinking this, but I did. It seems interesting in a world where we have so much information the better we get at filtering it, the more of a muzzle we put on receiving stray ideas, or crossovers unless they come from those we've deemed experts in other areas. There was mention of "injection". I don't know if this is being done (he spoke of it as though it was a feature in something already) - and I thought it was clever. Not sure what the rules for "injecting" random shit into my feed is, but it would seem a cool idea.

On the flipside, the good thing about having human beings on the sending end of feeds is that there is an assurance of some loose cannons. I mean - you can have your random meme generated or mutated because humans are unpredictable. Which is why, while I read Jon Hicks for design inspiration, that I could unpredictably pick up a tidbit on how to brew my tea and why.

Ok. Bedtime! Summary: Portland web folks are fab. I felt comfortable and welcome and there was free beer and pizza :) and a flow of really interesting ideas.

Gourds and Grubs

2007-11-06T23:13:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went out with Phoebe and we had a nice stroll in the foggy night air. We walked from her house down to Irving Park. The light from the lamposts streamed through the fog in a warm glow. We stopped and took some pictures, although she determined she'd probably need a tripod as they were blurry. Low light can be a real pain in the ass. We really enjoyed the night.

We ended up in a pub near her house splitting a beer and sketching the gourd on the table and writing a poem together about motherhood, which was ironically started by our seeing several hatched grubs squirming on a plate. I'm hoping our view of motherhood is tempered by birth!

I'm exhausted but really excited that I actually got to spend a night with Phoebe doing some creative stuff. It was the stuff of dreams when I was in Tempe, so it's such a pleasure to be living it. So tired.

Bed awaits!

When Am I Gonna Learn

2007-11-05T22:57:00.000-08:00

To post in the mornings. This 11pm, gotta run upstairs and post an entry business, is starting to suck. So tired. But had an exciting night with the new car: I went to the store! And no buying only 2 things that can fit in my backpack... OH NO! I went to town. Bought tons of fresh stuff, and came home and cooked my heart out. Made some crazy soup concoction, that is actually not too shabby: lentil soup, with a tomato base from the tomatoes from our garden that I froze, acorn squash (I think this was the mistake ingredient. The texture is wonk, and it had no sweetness.), potatoes, carrots, chard, zucchini, veggie broth and chiles with some cumin and a little cinnamon. Kind of nuts, but it tastes pretty good. Unlike the cod that I made. Uh. Gross. Fell apart, got mooshy, stuck to the pan, and all around was pretty foul.

Today I had lunch with Boegle. It was really good to have her back! I had to resort to thoughts of getting new friends, but thankfully she returned so I didn't have to do anything drastic :)

Did I just buy a car?!?

2007-11-04T20:56:00.000-08:00

Well, we did it. We ended up buying a Subaru Forrester. We intended on buying a used one. But instead ended up buying new. I feel as though I have to justify it. Not sure how other than the fact that we really dug this car. And neither of us have ever had a new car. I'm not sure how to feel about it except that I'm really excited to have the option to drive a car! It's been a long time since I've had the freedom of doing what I want when I want. Riding the bike has been awesome but a bit limiting especially as the weather gets a little colder. It ironically is only an issue when I quit riding. If I wanted to go somewhere after work, it needed to be close, but also when I'd get there I would be so sweaty, I'd be freezing until I could get back on and ride again.

So we sucked it up and bought this bad boy.

In trying to figure it out we went home, grabbed the dog and went for another hike in Forest Park. He absolutely loved it. We hemmed and hawed and talked finances. Hardly relaxing, but it was fun.

It's been one hell of a long day, so I'll make this short - that and my delete button isn't working, and it's driving me insane...

We had breakfast at Jáce Gáce: HIGHLY recommend the Egg and Sausage gravy waffle and the Tiramisu waffle. Oh. My. Holy. God.

Egg Nog Pancakes, Pan's Labryinth, Chugs and Shearings

2007-11-03T21:55:00.000-07:00

Just finished watching House of Sand. REALLY didn't feel like coming up and writing, but figured going out on the third day of NoPloBloMo is pretty weak. So here I am! This morning we headed out for an adventure. I think Saturdays are fast becoming "Spontaneous Saturdays" - since we usually strike out for breakfast to some new land.

Last weekend it was the Cup and Saucer on Hawthorne, and a tootle around Hippo Hardware. It was a good thing we had just eaten as that place is cavernous and filled with a mixture of musthaves and absolute crap! This weekend we ended up in the Beaumont neighborhood at Bumblekiss. It's a kind of tiny little breakfast place, bright orange with black trim, and a garage with large sliding doors that open to a ping pong table. Quite the morning hot spot. Breakfast was definitely worth the wait. Felipe had an asparagus, salmon, and sundried tomtaoe scramble - it was phenomenal. Mine was good if a little adventurous with pear, spinach, feta and chicken-apple sausage, and an egg-nog pancake on the side. Yum. I do have to say, though, at $2 a pop for coffee, you're better off bringing your own. It was some of the worst I've had. But the breakfast was awesome. And I may have to return when I have weekend time to burn to have a morning Passionfruit mimosa.

We decided to strike out from there to Forest Park. We'd yet to hike there after living here 6 months!?! Part of it was lack of preparation. Whenever we felt like going I hadn't mapped it. I had worried it could be difficult to find, but knew it was basically at the end of St. John's bridge so off we shot. Papi insisted on "real" coffee, so we stopped at another cute place called the Bicycle Cafe on Lombard I believe. Totally packed and all we wanted was latte to go, but it was worth the stop. I asked a diner for directions, poking my head out of my normal tortoise shell, and the woman gave great directions and a good tip to hit Newton Road as it's a bit less crowded.

Papi and I hiked for a few hours. The ferns and mushrooms made me wish I had a camera. As did the roots of renegade tree saplings that had attached themselves to large stumps, that reminded me of the mandrake in Pan's Labyrinth.

After hiking we decided to head for home and crossed Ross Island Bridge. We headed instead to return and rent movies. And go to the store. We ended up oggling pets in a pet store and playing with this adorable kitten who chased my finger and then got distracted by shadows, so she then chased my finger's shadow. It's a wonder we didn't end up with a carful. I saw my first "Chug" - chiuaua/pug (sp? Chiuaha not pug!) It never ceases to amaze me what we do with animal breeds.

Got tired, got hungry, picked up movies, didn't make it to the store, and ended up eating really bad Chinese food AGAIN. We've got to do our homework and find a decent restaurant. We sat eating greasy Beef Chow Fun with no flavor?! How do you even do that? When a splash of black bean sauce or even soy sauce would help matters tremendously. That and an order of pork with Chinese greens turned out to be in fact everything but the greens - bok choy stems. It was really bizarre. I think if I don't see chili oil on the table from now on, I'll just get up and leave.

So after that we had a brilliant idea of buying scissors so that Papi could cut my hair. Glad I got that out of my system. After cutting it way shorter than I had wanted - he was so excited I had barely said how long I'd like it when he'd grabbed the first clump at an odd angle and whacked it off. In the front. Things went hysterically down hill as he got around to the other side and it was about 3 inches longer than the other side. All and all I must have cut about 5 inches total. Which I think I'm ok with. Although I have to say I really liked the right side of the original cut (that was about 3 inches longer than what it evened up to be.) But I was getting really annoyed with having damp, heavy hair all of the time. But after trying to remedy it myself, and not being able to with the crappy mirrors in this place - I risked it and trusted Papi to even it up. Which he did, so I could at least put it up in ponytails that were around the same length and weight. The asymmetry was like my own personal hell.

Tomorrow I intend to spend large sums of money on my head to make me finally feel pampered in the way todays experience definitely did NOT! The good news is I was slightly on the fence about cutting my hair short. Not any more!

But strangely I feel more "kempt" than I have in months. My last haircut was probably 1 month before I left Tempe. And the last time I waxed my brow was about 4 months ago. I've done things in between but I'm feeling so old, tired and rundown. I think it's time to hire a pack of maintenance squirrels (to borrow Boegle's fabulous visual) to make me feel human again.

The house seems on hold! We were planning to suck it up and do tile today, but instead ended up on a crazy adventure. But it was well worth it. We'll see, maybe tomorrow we'll actually get to it. After I hit the salon for several thousand dollars worth of damage!

Things I learned today...

2007-11-02T20:29:00.000-07:00

To brew tea leaves, the water needs to be oxygenated. Constantly re-boiling water removes that vital element – the water needs to be freshly drawn (throw out any old water in the urn), and freshly boiled if it’s to stand a chance of getting the flavour out of those leaves. Even with tea bags, you can get a good result.

Of all the things to learn from Jon Hicks of Hicksdesign, I think it's funny that the reason for boiling fresh COLD water was finally answered in a random "plea for a decent cuppa". I'm embarrassed to say I never knew why people insisted on (you know in all of those directions, even on mac and cheese I think) starting with cold water - NOT hot. I always thought you didn't want to start with hot because of drinking water that has sat in a water heater and it would be bad for your health due to minerals, etc. I do it anyway. I can be seen using hot water to boil things. I don't know if this applies to macaroni, but Hicks' explanation of why it's needed was so interesting to me... Sad american, I know. But I've turned over a new leaf. Only cold fresh water in my coffee maker (as opposed to making it the night before...).

Today I listened to this: podcast of Khoi Vinh at Future of Web Apps 2007. I hadn't really thought hard on the challenges that must face large news organizations. I had thought about it from a standpoint of: Wow, what a lot of content. But not from a standpoint of: Wow, what a lot of content you've got to organize on the fly. It's almost like a web design challenge on a reality tv show. Instead of Top Chef, it's Top UXer. "You've got 20 minutes and a national disaster. GO!" He mentioned that one day we may be able to design the interface on the fly. Huh. Pretty crazy.

One other tidbit, was that if you link/permalink to an NYT article on your blog that you will have access to it long after it has gone beyond the pay wall.

The other thing that struck home some was the idea of putting media inline or in context with your text instead of having a "media ghetto." This currently (or as of that recording) was causing issues with their CMS, but I think in designing sites for education, and trying to isolate things that might be a maintenance issue or easier from a design standpoint - you end up with a separation of your text and your media. And it's something that needs to be put back together in my own work.

Other things I learned: Rounding corners when placing images in inDesign, and how to "feather" images. Simple for some, but given I've spent probably a total of 1 hour of my life in the program!

How to make "comps" in Photoshop. I've spent a lot of time in Photoshop and I've always used Shift+Option+Cmd+E to take a snapshot of everything (Merging all layers to a new layer) but I'd never used comps, which is handy when you want to scoot the same layer around, etc. Kind of embarrassing I hadn't figured it out sooner! But it's powerful, can't wait to really use it! Window>Layer Comps>Create New Layer Comp - the little new sheet icon near the trash, and you can choose if you want to maintain a picture of the visibility/position/layer style. Very cool.

"We just ate expeeeeeeeensive mole-aaaaaay!"

2007-11-02T20:15:00.001-07:00

That would be the chorus we sang on the way home from a night out on the town. We went to DF (standing for Distrito Federal - Federal District, or Mexico City) in the Pearl district. Given that you can know our or at least Papi's expectations were high! It's apparently renowned for it's fabulous margaritas. Honestly, I'm just a ghetto gal. I like my margaritas in jelly jars with lots of mix. Not the crappy mix, but the fresh lime, lemon, orangey juice mixture. For me a good margarita is not about fancy tequila. It's about the tastey stuff you put around the crappy tequila to get it down. But again. I'm obviously not a connoisseur - obviously since I can't even spell it (I had to look it up.) Give me a Tin Shed margarita any day.

Papi's complaint was the store bought corn tortillas. Let's put it this way, for $19 a plate, I could use a little flourish in the one item I got with my 3 item meal: rice, meat and some mole sauce... which for white trash, everyone knows the gravy is part of the meat - so it was really 2 items.

The nice part, though: Felipe looked up the restaurant, and took me there! Woot! Normally I have to map everything and can't head to the car without first asking if he knows where we're going - even if HE'S driving and usually he doesn't! So that was worth any amount of money. It felt like a date. Which was pretty awesome.

We're settling in for some tube with some Oregon Joe Cake from New Seasons. I think it's from Joseph's (wherever or whatever that is...)

Ok this post is kind of lame... but I'm on to the next one which I'm hoping I can post on the "work" blog: libbymolina.com.

We'll see if I can keep up two posts for one month! YIKES!

Wow, it's officially November!

2007-11-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

I vowed to do NaPlaBloMo this year... Except that I can't actually spell it, nor do I know what exactly it means. I know what my husband wishes it meant, te-he... I'm a little punch drunk since I've been online now for like something ridiculous like 13 hours? Punctuated of course by the occasional trick or treat'er...

I raced home tonight to be able to hand out candy. Felipe bought TONS of it. I had just gotten the dog sequestered in the basement after changing out of sweaty commute attire to hear the clomping on our porch. The hordes had begun. It was really sweet to know that I lived in a neighborhood. We had TONS of kids! It was really sweet. I got to see all of these crazy outfits. I wish I had a camera, and a few model releases as some of these kids were CUTE! My favorite was the kid from Battlestar Gallactica. I'm sure boegle is groaning as I'm sure I've mis-spelled the majority of that. He was dressed in a lot of orange that was taped together with a white bib-like action. His helmet, however, was the shit. One of the interchanges of the night was
Me: Is that a HARD-DRIVE around your neck?!
Mom: Yep. You know: technooooooology. *She whispers and winks.*
Me: Riiiiiight. Well I think it's awesome.

He was up there although he did come by twice, and I played it off with aplomb commenting on a different part of his outfit so that we could ignore the part where we say exactly the same stuff... and I just tossed the Reese's peanut butter cup into his sack, since I already knew that's what he liked!

The other one that I loved, was a girl who was, I believe some sort of dark vampiress, who was a lurker. She had gotten her candy, and was waiting for her friends. I was sure she was waiting to catch another round of candy for herself, but surprised me when:

She said, "So did you just move in?"

and I said, (Sadly no we've lived here for months but it's just been this ridiculous hell of a remodel so...) "Yes."

and she said, "Wow! You're house is really pretty. I think it must be fun to move in and just get to paint things whatever color you want. I'd paint it rainbow."

and I said, "Actually, I AM! Every room, a different color: yellow, purple, hot pink, orange, green. You name it. You should come back and see it."

and she said, "I will! I'll be back this time next year! Happy Halloween!"

She was so serious. And I give the kid props for looking at our shithole and thinking any part of it had potential. She's either got a gift, or this place doesn't look so bad. I'm leaning toward the former.

Queen for a day

2007-02-02T10:27:00.001-08:00

The other day I had an idea walking to my watercolor class for a site redesign which can be seen over here. I still have much to do to change around things - i.e. making tabbed Hybrid/Online views, and a rework of the "masthead" but it's coming around. The good news about staying up til 2:30 working on work is that I told my boss so, sent him the designs and he let me work from home for the rest of the morning yesterday. Leaving me with some nice time off at home! After putting in my 1/2 day I realized I forgot to eat, so grabbed some ramen and soup, took a shower, and after failed attempts to nap, headed to the movie to watch The Queen. And that's what I did. I swear, Mirren IS the Queen. I felt the film gave a pretty fair portrayal of all things. Not knowing the issues that were facing Britain at the time, I can't attest to their accuracy, but if taken as a fictional story it was done well. I had empathy for all of the parties, which I think is something so rarely done in films these days. There is usually a good guy and a bad guy and they are so clearly one or the other. Understanding, often, doesn't make for an exciting enough hyperbole.

After the film I tripped over to Barnes and Noble and while talking to Boegle - she left a message that she was going to see Notes on a Scandal. And I thought to myself as I always do: She's the brave one. I'm the one who ducked out for some easy going movie on British aristocracy. Oh how edgy of me. But I'd seen the trailer for Notes and Christ, I couldn't even think of trundling into that level of drama on a normal day, much less one with sleep deprivation.

Bought two books after bargaining with myself. Instead of buying the 2 journals and book, I'd put the two journals back and get these:
Painting with Watercolor, Pen and Ink. Sadly if I could have waited I would have saved myself about $8. Crap.
Telling True Stories, A Non-Fiction Writer's Guide.... from some dudes at harvard. Nonfiction writing and Journalism was something that was on my list of things that might be cool to major in when I was in College, and then didn't for some various reason or another. And on this I could have saved $5.

I find it really interesting that the watercolor writer lives on Mt. Hood. I'm sure I'm just noticing all of the cool people that live in Oregon - although there does appear to be a nice concentration of them!

Oh and while I was just looking at Amazon I saw this:
HARRY POTTER. I'm such a sucker but I've learned from experience, I need to preorder.

I've made a deal with myself. If I bring lunch 4 times a week, on the weekends I get to buy books! It's about the same price. I could spend $40 on crappy food, or save that and buy more books I have no-where to put!

Punctuated Equilibrium

2007-01-30T17:13:00.000-08:00

This weekend was full... of relaxing! Felipe had a wisdom tooth pulled last week and it was quite an ordeal. For me. KIDDING! It's just so hard to see someone in pain. He had all kinds of fun pills: Vicodin. But if you ask me drugs are wasted on the sick. Kidding again! He didn't like the woozy, out of control feeling, so tried not to take them. He's doing better. We both just looked at each other and thought - we're taking it easy this weekend! And having some fun. So we went to Usery Park (no they don't lend money there) and sat around looking at some beautiful desert. I brought my watercolors and my sketchbook. As my coworker put it, wow, it's like your old people already. Um thanks, dude.

I've been trying to stay active in the writing, drawing, watercoloring depts. I'm not so great at any of those things, but would like to be, so figure I should practice. I did some work on my portfolio, although I'm not sure I like the layout. I think it's pretty clunky. So need to revisit, but was proud that I at least snagged all of the screen shots, which seemed to be the most tedious part.

I think we're going to try and list our house next week. Our realtor seemed to have lost some enthusiasm over the past week. Which I'm hoping won't mean we're stuck here come June. That would seriously suck. But not as bad as the option my boss relayed to me as a lovely little cautionary tale:

Did you hear that CNN story?
Nope.
Well there was this family. He had an ok job in Colorado, and they decided to just move with no jobs to Seattle (which I know isn't Portland), but anyway. They moved there and after several months, couldn't find jobs, and ended up in homeless shelters.
Crickets.

My co-worker tried to convince me that it's just because he's going to miss me and doesn't want me to go. I'm hoping, I guess, that he's right! But ouch. He definitely knows how to sucker punch me.

Other than that I've been busy making appointments for doctors visits (must get things done before we have no insurance and are living in homeless shelters: check), getting our carpet and a/c compressor replaced, submitting medical receipts/rebates, and all of the other things that have been sitting on my to do lists for weeks.

Boegle's sick, but that didn't stop her from sending me down a rabbit hole of trying to figure out RSS feeds on blogger, not that hard, but I had an older template and their tags weren't really working for me, or I was sticking them in the wrong place (probably the more likely scenario.) When I called her I could hardly hear her! Sad little b. So send her huggins if you know her.

Well, my life is sadly rather boring. Yet happy. But figured I should post!

Goals a go-go

2007-01-18T18:53:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been a bit since I posted last. But I'm trying to get my act together. The semester has started and so I've been trying to shoe-horn myself into the next 4 months flavor of our schedule. I was proud that I went ahead and signed on for a watercolor class. Normally I say, I don't have a car (the public transportation in Phoenix is a bit limiting) but thought - well I'm sure I can find SOMETHING I can do/take, etc. over the next 4 months. I realized I have a habit of putting my life on hold - especially when faced with big changes. Like moving to a new state, selling our home, quitting our jobs and moving blindly to Oregon! Instead of hawking fun things to keep myself from running around screaming, I figured I'd try not to pace holes in the new carpet by doing something. Anything.

So far the watercolor class seems a good fit. I know the instructor and have enjoyed her before taking drawing and acrylic from her. She's easy going and not too intimidating. And encouraging. She's having a good month: she sold a mixed media drawing, and got a piece put on the cover of one local magazine and in the interior of Phoenix Home & Garden. Kind of cool. She's quite spunky and something about her is just enjoyable to be around. So glad I did that.

I've been hooked on Google Reader. I love blogs, but do this thing where I stop reading tech blogs. And forget the ones I like and so on. As though RSS feeds were news. But for some reason it's working for me. I tried an aggregate feeder a long time ago and something about the interface was bulky and I just couldn't remember the site. I guess it speaks to googles popularity with me. I'm not going to forget their url anytime soon. So I'm trying their calendar on for size as well. I've been using the notifier, but seem to do better with a website. So pulling my crap into a portal - boring shit to most I'm sure. The only thing I'm not super satisfied with, ironically, is google maps. I know they were the cutting edge, and I give them major props. But I've on more than one occasion gotten a completely crap direction from them, or had the freeway near my house be ignored. It's really bizarre and hit or miss. I've crossed over to Yahoo Maps.

Other than that, we found a real estate agent. We were excited to have someone come to our house with optimism and appreciation for all that we've done. Not like that's what a realtor is for - they're appreciative you're handing them a good commission! But nonetheless, you want them to understand the value. And I guess, what I'm glad about is that we didn't miss our mark. We weren't busy doing crap that won't add value to our house. It's always a concern even when you think you're on the mark. Course the thing ain't sold yet! So we'll see.

But my goals for the next few weeks are to get our house finally ready. We need to clean out the garage, pack up the laundry room, touch up some paint, and have a yard sale. I think all of that is happening this weekend. After that I need to get my groove on and dedicate a few hours to getting my portfolio together.

As I posted on my "work" blog, "I remember when I saw Hillman Curtis at Flashforward in Austin. When starting one of his (at the time, side-) film projects, he’d tell at least 10 friends so that they could ask him each time they’d see him, 'How is that film project coming?'" So I'm hoping if I tell enough people my plans, they'll keep asking my about them until I'm shamed into completing them! or homeless on the streets of Portland!

I can't stop humming this...

2006-12-20T17:00:00.000-08:00

Who knew I'd become a Justin Timberlake fan?
Papi and I go around singing the alternatives by putting Pico's nickames as non-explicit substitues. With the occasional woooowooowoowooooooo!

When I'm thankful for the luck of being born in the U.S., I better add being white and female.

2006-12-13T12:26:00.000-08:00

"The number of people in prison, in jail, on parole, and on probation in the U.S. increased threefold between 1980 and 2000, to more than 6 million, and the number of people in prison increased from 319,598 to almost 2 million in the same period. This buildup has targeted the poor, and especially Blacks. In 1999, though Blacks were only 13 percent of the U.S. population, they were half of all prison inmates. In 2000, one out of three young Black men was either locked up, on probation, or on parole. The military-industrial complex of the 1950s, with its Cold War communist bogeyman, has been replaced by a prison-industrial complex, with young Black "predators" serving as its justification."

Dan Parkin, International Socialist Review, Jan-Feb 2002, p69

Well, while I thought I was just sitting on my ass, apparently my HBO series was making me think. I had seen this short film: One Nation Under Guard several weeks ago, and with my avid show watching I got to thinking about a lot of things. The Wire inadvertently critiques (assuming their main purpose is to entertain) the handling of drug arrests, crime and education in Baltimore . I got to thinking about education in the inner city, and the way the vote/democracy, and public funding is broken in America.

In the short film One Nation, they discuss the increase in corporations whose business it is to build and run prisons. The goal no longer becomes getting those people back into society, as that's not profitable to a company that makes it's money imprisoning people. And knowing how lobbyists work it only makes sense that instead of funding schools, (Where's the money in that?) funding has shifted to prisons.

"From 1984 to 1994, California built 21 prisons, and only one state university...the prison system realized a 209% increase in funding, compared to a 15% increase in state university funding."

The Justice Policy Institute (1996)

*Just an aside. Can you imagine one large constituent that would fight the legalization of drugs?*

I found this on Correctional Corporation of America's site:

MYTH: Private prison companies are actively engaged in legislation to promote longer and tougher sentences in order to keep beds filled and increase profits.
REALITY: The corrections management industry absolutely does not participate in or lobby for stricter sentencing. In fact, several companies in this industry provide services that serve as alternatives to sentencing, such as electronic monitoring, day reporting centers and probations services. Lobbying for longer sentences does not lead to increased business. Providing safe, secure facilities that offer meaningful programs and services for inmates does.

Not sure when they updated their site last, but I found this dated Sept. 2006:

A recent report from the Montana-based Institute on Money in State Politics reveals that during the 2002 and 2004 election cycles, private prison companies, directors, executives and lobbyists gave $3.3 million to candidates and state political parties across 44 states.According to Edwin Bender, executive director of the Institute on Money in State Politics, private prison companies strongly favor giving to states with the toughest sentencing laws—in essence, the ones that are more likely to come up with the bodies to fill prison beds.

The other issue at hand is the fact that poor rural societies scramble for these contracts to build prisons, because with them, not only are they receiving an influx of jobs, but also an increase in population. While those prisoners can't vote their numbers are added to the census which is in turn used to determine voting districts in the rural white areas where they are located. These numbers are used not only for determining the number of representatives, but also grant money, etc. So those most needing representation: the neighborhoods that are having to deal with the crime, and trying to prevent future generations attending those inner city schools from suffering a similar fate, have fewer resources/funding to change things.

No matter how I feel about crime, the possibility for rehabilitation of offenders, or the education system, having 1/3 of a particular population in prison, should make us think. Imagine having a family reunion... in prison. What should we, as a society, be doing differently?

Here's an amazing example: Boaz and Ruth

Down to The Wire

2006-12-12T10:57:00.000-08:00

I keep waiting to have something exciting to say before I write something... I may be waiting a LOOOOOONG time! As we've finally hit the cooling point for the house. Not that the house was particularly interesting, I just have no energy to pursue anything else! Papi and I have been rejuvenating or escaping! depending on how you look at it, by watching large amounts of TV. Or in this case, laptop. Watching the latest season of The Wire. Wow. It's so addictive. We did manage to pull together a blind, and I sewed some curtains, as well as made trips to kind of gussy up the kitchen. Hung hanging plants and some things on the wall, bought a bamboo mat for the kitchen. Warmed it up some and made it feel less sterile and un-homey. We really love our kitchen now. It's kind of a shock to realize that you really viewed your kitchen as grubby no matter how clean you got it, because the linoleum was all cracked out, and the cupboards needed a fresh coat of paint. Everything feels all spruced up. Now we just need to start cooking in it! Papi's wasting no time. Pancakes for breakfast yesterday and last night he whipped up a beef "stew." Which isn't very stewy in the American since. More like a rich, thin broth - he actually buys these bones and stuff from the Food City butcher - and all kinds of crazy vegetables. My favorite is the chayote. Which when I first tried it tasted suspiciously like dirt. Not in a spinach way, and I had to acquire a taste. Now I can taste the sweetness, and it makes me feel earth loved.

The carpet will come this thursday (I SWEAR!) and then it will be prepping for Christmas and a visit from my sister and her boys. Can't wait.

The End... if I hadn't gotten the dates wrong.

2006-12-08T15:00:00.000-08:00

Doh. Yesterday was a smidge traumatic. I had this echo in my head that kept saying The 16th. The carpet drop dead date was the 16th, and I remember pushing it to that as we weren't ready for the carpet the week after Thanksgiving. I lost a week somewhere. So we were never SCHEDULED for the week after Thanksgiving. But for the 7th. Until I bumped it up. To the 14th. Which was not yesterday. As we sat on a couch in an empty living room after packing and hoisting all of our belongings out to the patio and garage (Thankfully given our predicament, this took 10 minutes). Felipe was talking and in mid-sentence I bolted from the couch with this sick feeling in my stomache.

"I'm sorry, have you seeen my calendar?!" After locating it in a box somewhere I verified that I did, indeed, schedule the carpet folks for NEXT week. This is the second (and probably not the last) of my f*&# ups that I've made during our home improvement/sell this house gig. The first was going through a long and laborious calculation and determining "Yes! This IS enough tile to tile our house." Only to realize after paying the gentleman $50 (that should have been a clue) and thinking slightly concernedly after hoisting it into the trunk: "Wow that didn't quite seem like enough, did it?" that I forgot to divide my calculation by 144. NOT 12. SQUARE feet, dumbass. Shit. Like my calc prof always said, you're GOOD at math - your just better at the "big ideas," after it would take forever for me to get my algebra right. Damn the details, and the devil.

So I swallowed hard and the only dig my poor husband couldn't resist mentioning was, "So. If it were ME who got the dates mixed up. How would YOU have responded." "Don't be silly, you know, I would have ripped you a new one and you would never hear the end of it. You KNOW that!"

The part I left out was this all took place AFTER sitting in an empty living room, looking around and sadly reflecting on my life in this place and how it (the house - I think) felt so empty and hollow and not me anymore. It was clean, and beige and had no things in it = not mine. I had a sad feeling. It was just a kind of sad morning/mourning. I got over it after much soul searching with Boegle. Which I must confess is annoyingly like living in a Bizarroworld Shadow. She experiences these things 1-2 months before I do, and while at the time I think, "Huh, I don't think I'll ever feel that way about leaving my home." 2 months later. Here I am!

Which makes me think, "Shit, I'm not ready for the life questions that she seems to be fielding now. Turn this wormhole OFF! Or if you leave it on, can you make it Dec. 14?"

But regardless of the date, the good news is - our end of it all - is done. No tiling, no grouting, no packing (well until we move/stage) but for now all remodel projects are basically complete. So while I was sad and needy yesterday Episodes of the Wire, a lonely couch, and a Just Desserts cake (which I was pleasantly suprised they are now packaged from the bay and delivered to Whole Paycheck) awaited the end of my day like a pot of gold at the end of my rainbow.

End in sight!

2006-12-04T16:27:00.000-08:00

I naively packed my Wacom tablet and some illustrator/flash books on Friday thinking, "This weekend I MAY just have time to work on my portfolio." My portfolio is a constant nagging issue in my life. It's the one way I constantly "should on myself" as a therapist once told me. But with good reason. It's rare that someone in web work doesn't have their own site, and if they do finally muster a site, no portfolio?! So I've tried to pull some of it together. It's complicated by the fact that all of the work we do is password protected. Which means I feel the need to document everything. And it's also hard because folks just have to take my word for it that it works! And I have the added pain of including code snippets as opposed to letting things speak for themselves. I'm doing some research on how I want to do this, lay it out, graphically and how I want it to work from a mechanical standpoint: Flash vs. xhtml/css. I'm hoping to try and do some work (how was that for extremely non-commital!) soon. Post-carpet, pre-family.

All things in my life are currently pre-*insert home improvement job here* and post. I'm happy to say that we are now in the post-tile-installation era. And are quite excited. I'll try and post some pictures soon. It's been weird. Our house is very beautiful. Clean. But almost sterile. I fear having to be vigilante with dog and nephews about not tracking mud. And man - that is not the kind of house I'm used to having. I have coffee stained carpet to proove it. It's one of the main reasons I want indestructable floors. With some kind of carpet/throw mattress/woodfloor raft to toss on the floor to watch TV from. I miss my colors. My house used to be all shades of crazy, - but crazy and warm. And now it's a very sane beige, with some cold color. I'm working on it. Going to work some of it in. Since I don't want the *wrong person* buying my house. You know real estate is not an investment when... I should just be glad to have the asking price for my place, but honestly I cringed when I pictured college stoners 5 to a pad piled in just wrecking all of the hard work we did. Not to say that would happen. But it kind of freaks me out. For all the personal work I've done to no longer have people in my life spilling bong water on my carpet - visualizing someone else spilling bongwater on my carpet is just a little too much ;)

But the catch will be: It won't be my carpet. I will long be on the way to milk and honey, or my equivalent: coffee, and hardwood floors.

Fistacuffs

2006-12-02T08:11:00.000-08:00

And no I'm not referring to my reaction to the negative vibes regarding my move below! I'm talking about... The Mexican Congress!?

I get so annoyed with the press. I heard decent coverage on the BBC, but here everyone seems to kind of say "Well, Calderon definitely got the best of the PRD. They tried to hold up the inaguration but failed because the Congress must be realizing that they need to come together... blah blah blah." Oh, so that's what he was doing by sneaking off in the middle of the night getting inagurated in completely unorthodox fashion at 12:01. It would seem to me if you are forced to completely skulk around to become president that you aren't getting the best of anyone. It is in agreement with the press that I've seen and I am referring to McNeil-Lehrer and NPR here, that Calderon does have his work cut out for him given his lack of a mandate.

I have to say I wish our government put up this much of a fight six years ago. It would have been refreshing to see those fat Dems in congress then throwing a few punches. While I find myself lulled into the argument that there comes a point at which you concede gracefully so the country can function and go on - I've lived that outcome. And frankly, I think that's wrong with us, we're too worried about inpropriety to put up the good fight. But in seeing a country where "democracy" is still undefined and possibly expected to be what it's supposed to mean, people are still passionate about getting what they can from it, process be damned.

Given I feel like our process here is broken, what with lobbyists and even just the voting process, I wonder what forms of revolutionary action (that's probably a grand overstatement) - or even just grassroots action - this country will employ to get things back on track. Is Move-On enough? Can blogs fight the onesided media Fox-blitz? Can you change the system from within? I'm given hope by the last election and the shakeup in Congress. However, I wonder what we'll need to do in the future to change our own system?

Almost There

2006-12-02T07:49:00.000-08:00

After an evening researching housing prices here (to see what we can hope to possibly get for this place) and looking at houses in Portland, I almost hesitated to tell Papi of my anxiety. All fueled by a nameless entity in authority in my life who takes pleasure in pointing out that the "housing market is the coldest it's been in over 10 years." Or some other piece of slight nonsense. Possibly this is true nationwide but not as harsh in Phoenix. I tell myself, at 1 AM. After I worried and rung hands, I realized - it didn't matter. The other thing said entity jokingly told me was "Woman, you don't know WHAT you want." That really struck a bone, and while I did say - "Well I know where I want to live, and it isn't here." I stopped short of saying, "and I want kids, to live in a place where there's culture and an urban plan, and where there are jobs that aren't this one." For someone who doesn't know what she wants - I think I have an idea.

So after my brainstem got after the mean business of researching the impossibility of having what I want in all areas: house, location, degrees of beautiful completion. I realized - it didn't matter. Because overwhelmingly, I want to be in that area. I want something different for myself and my family. I want something more aware, alive than living in a $250K suburban cookie cutter house that requires I breath smog during inversions and drive to a strip mall in lieu of a *real* downtown. And no matter where I drive I won't hit decent theatre until I hit LA. Ok that was a potshot it's been probably 3 years since I attended local theatre here, but let me tell you, it was enough to keep me from going back.

Phoenix is growing and there are some talented people really making efforts and admittedly - I'm not one of them. My pioneering spirit is setting it's sails elsewhere.

That's a long jig to get around to saying: Our tile's almost done! We're a couple of days from putting the washer/dryer back!! Woo hoo!

Got up early in spite of the late night and walked the dog. Went to the park with pooch and Papi and threw a tennis ball and like always sipped coffee while imagining what our lives would be like if the park were filled with trees, we could see our breath and Pico was rolling in green mudfilled grass. Tell me I don't know what I want! Daydream about it everyday.

Nervous Energy

2006-12-01T11:26:00.000-08:00

After a few days of blah, a day off from work to nurse evil cramps and exhaustion I'm back in the saddle. I've had much in the way of short-timers disease here at work - which is unfortunate as my time left here is not short! I've rallied the troups and am signing back onto work and being productive. So that feels good. I've been trying to do decaf coffee. Which also feels good, although this AM, I think I accidentally got ahold of some real stuff. I'm going a mile a minute.

Today I got back into contact with some good friends here. It's hard - in our drive to move to Portland, I've dropped out of some of the circle of friends here that I care about. And it was good to touch base with a couple Felipe and I really enjoy: Sedona!'s parents. Sedona! is a little wire hair fox terrier that if you ever met her, you too would spell her name as if she were Kung! It requires an exclamation point.

Here she is as a puppy, looking much the centerfold:

I feel like her today, a little rambunctious, unsettled, darting everywhere and energetic. Unlike her I wish it took more than a narcoleptic 10 second nap to recharge my batteries!

This morning I laid some of the last tile borders. And Felipe is finishing up the grout in the kitchen. We're SO close to having our house back and are excited by the prospect of cooking a meal, doing our laundry and having our second toilet back!

couch potot

2006-11-29T09:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a rather unproductive couch warming session. I woke at 4 with some of the worst cramps - sorry TMI but I've been lucky knock on wood, to not really have these often - so it was a day of ibuprofen, and heating pads. I slept on and off all day, in between a trip to IHOP (Jesus, I haven't been there since maybe a teenager?), and a viewing of the Dark Crystal. I've been craving GOOD fantasy kid movies. I think it's the time of year. It's usually this time that I curl up with a Harry Potter, movie or book, or some other non reality dealing vehicle to take my mind away from winter. I'm taking suggestions on films and books so please! I, unfortunately, packed all of my books or I'd take another crack at the book Boegle bought me Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell.

Mi Papi Chavez

2006-11-24T08:11:00.001-08:00

Cesar Chavez
Papi Chavez
Originally uploaded by phatmunkay.

For dia de los muertos, Papi organized with the department a place to build an altar for a kind of interactive cultural exhibit. So folks brought pictures of Elvis, his favorite peanut butter and bacon sandwich and some Olay? I'm a little confused about the Olay barsoap, but what I know about Elvis you could fit in a thimble. I know and I AM my mother's daughter. She's so ashamed. But one of the altars that Felipe put together was for Cesar Chavez. (I won't allow him to read this post, as I'm sure there are accents that are supposed to go somewhere in that man's name and I'd have to spend the morning trying to figure out if it is é? è? à?) I digress.

So as he's setting things up, there is a picture of Chavez as a young man. To the left of it is a picture of him leading a march at the age of 6o something. And as Felipe finishes he starts taking pictures of the altar for posterity. As he's snapping away an elderly lady stops and asks him, "Oh! How wonderful. Would you like me to take a picture of you with your picture?" I do love the "I'm humoring her out of respect for elders/trying not to laugh" lip purse.

Blog? More like a quarterly check-in

2006-11-22T19:01:00.000-08:00

I never seem to be able to find a balance in my life. It seems the top is always spinning to one place, bouncing off a wall and spinning in another direction. After much round and round, Papi and I are moving to Portland. We've begun the transition of readying our house to put on the market. And I feel kind of tired of it. We've repainted almost every surface, carpet will be done next week, but this thanksgiving I'll be giving thanks with mastic.

Nothing like a holiday tiling job to bring the family together. It's times like these when I think - why didn't I just take a vacation for once? Why is "free time" always utilized for some purpose. It's probably for the better. I'm restless in limbo and with the majority of my crap packed there's not much hobbying going on. Whatever that was.

But I do feel restless. I'm tired of talking about the boring shit that I'm doing to what is soon not to even be my house. It seems so shallow and kind of uninteresting, i.e. So what have you been up to? Oh finished the trim in the living room the other day and installed a ceiling fan. How about yourself?

I'm so gung ho with the home improvement until I hit that middle period - where you're almost there, you need one more push, but you have a good portion of stuff done, the place is clean and livable again and you think... you know, who REALLY needs new tile? You know? There's a man in a truck somewhere who realized this very lesson. Kiss of death was letting me move into a place with heat, electricity and running water. There was NO TURNING BACK.

In the month to come

2006-08-28T23:28:00.000-07:00

Flashforward, visit with my sister and fam, and Austin City Limits Music Fest with Gnarls Barkley. Would have loved to attend on Sat. but the two day passes were sold out long ago, and apparently I should spend time with my relatives!

Me after this month

2006-08-28T23:07:00.000-07:00

Originally uploaded by phatmunkay.

Actually no. It's Maria Sabina a wizened shaman who was sought after by many an American beatnik for her wisdom of mushrooms. I just felt like her after a few weeks back in the states.

2 months, now THAT's a record

2006-08-28T19:17:00.000-07:00

Well after one prod from Lo Fat, I'm back. Don't ever say I'm not responsive!

I feel like an alcholic after a two month binge. I don't know where all the time went. But I can tell you it's been quite a month: I spent two weeks in Mexico (just finally getting to uploading images), had the roof of my office cave in on my lovely G5 and it's accompanying 23 in. flat panel, and my thankfully empty desk. Happened between 10-midnight (thankfully on a Friday - otherwise it's possible I could have been there.) Which means my cohorts and I are now squatting (week 2) in what used to be a gallery. I as part of "the settlement" got a Mac Book Pro, as I "have" to telecommute until I have a desk. We managed to get the semester off without a hitch, I have to brag about that one. My replacement Mac Pro is sitting unopened with it's new monitor friend, as there is no where to put it.

While I feel dazzled with all of the new purchases, I have to say I'd give almost all of it ;) for just a permanent, and safe working environment and with it the small group that was our team. We are now in with a much larger crowd, with a new boss - apparently moving offices, starting a semester and the trauma of such an emergency wasn't enough - they needed to add a paradigm shift. I've realized over the past few weeks that you really have to fight for things if you want them. I may elaborate on that one later.

In Mexico, for the first week, I watched on and off coverage of the Tour. I was so excited to watch Floyd Landis (my boy) do some amazing maneuvers to get the lead. I was horrified when he came under testosterone suspicions. I have an autographed picture of him a friend got for me at the Bike Expo in Vegas in 2003. I've always liked Floyd. And yet, I can't tell you how sad I was that his hands seem a little less than clean right now. But it's biking. And there's frankly so much other important things in the world other than crying over spilt testosterone (don't think I'm giving him a moral pass - there's just more to life than cheating bikers.)

Like cheating politicians: Felipe and I the day after we got to Mexico City, marched with the Andres Lopez Obrador supporters. The fraud in this election is pretty amazing, and yet I'm stunned at the coverage the US, and the statements by the EU that this "appeared" to be a fair election. Kind of like 2000 was a fair election in the US despite things like this. More and more I read about our current situation as reflected in the Mexican election. The tribunal agreed to recount a select 9% of the votes. And as I type this the tribunal claims that there was apparently no fraud. So the question is when will Caulderon be installed, not if. I have to say I'm a bit shamed by how far the Mexican populace has gone to get their recount - hunkering down in the Zocalo for weeks in make shift tent cities. It makes me a little embarrassed as an American how easily I accepted our previous elections. I am my grandfather's democrat.

We did manage to do "tourist" things as well. I managed as the token gringa to acquire the most heinous bacterial infection afloat. I've never been that sick, ever. Thank god for pharmacists who prescribe and a husband that speaks Spanish, or I would have silmultaneously puked and pooped my way to an early grave. Ok. It would have probably taken a while given my body fat ratio, but I think I would have killed myself first.

We visited Frida Kahlo's house in Coyoacan - one of my favorite neighborhoods. Living down the street from her lover - Tolstoy. Now that's my kinda girl. Her studio was something I dream of. All glass windows over looking her gardens filled with a miniature pyramid with Aztec artifacts. One of her beds was placed at the top of the stairwell above the gardens, adjacent to her studio so that she could look out at the garden when bed ridden. The Mexican gardens verge on rain forests in a way. Reminds me some of California. The temperate clime. We were there in the summer, and while Mexico City's air quality is the poorest around, we welcomed the daily 4 o'clock shower to clean the air.

I laughed on the way back from Teotihuacan and the pyramids. I awoke to our bus forging a river. Ok, it was really an underpass... but I now know why Felipe chuckles everytime the "news" in AZ comes on with an emergency flash flood report. We don't know what flash floods are. The torrents of rain that flooded this freeway was amazing. And I watched a volkswagon bug take it on with aplomb - "drafting" the bus in front of it to keep it's motor relatively dry.

We visited Diego Rivera's birth house in Guanajuato. I wish that I could have taken pictures of all of the sketches in the museum. A lot of them were from his sketchbook for preparations for large murals.

One of our first dates was looking over an art book on the triad of Mexican muralists: Orozco, Rivera and Siqueiros. So to see some of the works and the process was really encouraging and inspiring. I began to doodle the things around me.. I mean - draw. Or attempt to.

So I started a "watercolor" journal. Which has been a mix of sketches, india ink brush "drawings" and watercolor. I'm using the dry palettes for ease, it keeps me humble, and reminds me of being a kid.

We went to the Museo Nacional de Antropologia. Unfortunately it was the day that I finally succumbed to my internal ailments but not before forging ahead after the initial "warning shots" fired by my bowels upon arrival. We soldiered through Aztec, Olmec and Maya before I could no longer ignore the insistent need to find a bathroom.

I was flabbergasted at the number of artifacts. I have to say - I've always had a thing for stonework. Specifially obsidian. And Teotihuacan was apparently one of the main "foundries" for obsidian blades, tools. I've never seen such slivers of sharpness. That and sculpture out of obsidian. I'd give my eye teeth for this obsidian monkey vessel. My camera's memory card decided to crap out as I took a picture of it, so I have to settle with someone elses image.

We were scheduled to go to the pyramids the next day, but I had a date with the pharmacist and a 36 hour dance with the devil during which I'd barter my soul to just keep the pepto down (thankfully, I could not keep the pepto down - which is why I'm still here, and will be seeing a few of you in heaven specifically the pharmacist who gave me an anti-emetic so I could get the bactrim down.) Felipe and I would return a day earlier from Guanajuato to make it. And it's fueled me to want to see all of the major ruins in the Yucatan and Central America. I'd forgotten how much I love anthropology and when we got back I proceeded to check out and devour 3 texts on Mesoamerican Prehistory, a take on women's roles in Mesoamerican Prehistory (currently unimpressed - by the book, not the women) and a more colorful book that takes the areas site by site with sweet little color plates.

So much more to say, and maybe I'll write more soon. But given that's more words than I've been able to put to display in 2 months, I best not push my luck!

oh bitter disappointment

2006-06-30T11:14:00.000-07:00

So just generally disappointing and sad. I was really looking forward to the excitement and shakeup of a Lance-less tour. I'm not disappointed they're cracking down on doping, but while I hope these things aren't true, if they aren't - it's sad these dudes will miss the Tour. However if they did it, damn. As my mom would say, "I'm SO disappointed in you!"

Working on my "work blog"

2006-05-08T14:43:00.000-07:00

Well I spent the weekend trying to get my website together. It's existed untouched and undeveloped for eons. And it took a job app deadline to get me to take a look at my "professional" appearance.

Check it out!

SO proud of these antennae!

2006-04-09T22:52:00.000-07:00

No. I didn't consume any strange cacti...

Originally uploaded by phatmunkay.

I just felt amazingly happy this day. It was so fun to be goofy. I've finally found someone I can be a complete goofy ass around. We had a blast. We hiked at the Seven Springs/Cave Creek Trail. We did about 10 miles on Sat. Felt proud of us considering the most exercise I've gotten lately is pulling the lever on the lazy boy. I kid not.

Hitched!

2006-04-09T21:04:00.000-07:00

Cutting the cake

Originally uploaded by phatmunkay.

Shortest engagement...

2006-04-03T15:02:00.000-07:00

We're married.

How's that for expeditious? After going round and round on all the scenarios it became apparent that "just doing it," had some serious merit. We "eloped" after planning for this for something shy of 2 weeks. Met my parents in Benson, they served as witnesses to our speedy I dos and then we packed it off to here: Cochise Stronghold B&B

Where we had a mini-reception with family before they packed off to their campground and we beat a quick retreat to the hot tub, the desolate night sky, a massage in a yurt, and a night in an eco-straw bale house. We woke to white tailed deer and red cardinals and then went for a hike in the adjacent National Park, just by setting out of our back door - literally.

It was really something.

We're engaged

2006-03-19T07:41:00.000-08:00

After writing this post, Felipe and I had a long talk about everything I wrote here. I'm sure the order of that is indicative of a major issue on my part, but we sat, and we talked. About what we want and my concern for the "order" of things. And we decided to tell my parents. They were thrilled. It turned into a really exciting thing and my mom offered not only one of her rings as an engagement ring (saying I could do with it what I want as far as taking it apart and reusing the diamonds - the bling of it is hysterical btw, if you know me at all imagine how out of place a gold guard with 10 diamonds looks) as well as two thin gold bands that had been found in my grandfather Molina's family chest. Don't think they are from Spain like most of the other stuff but it's really impossible to tell. So that seemed to add to our legitimacy. I think a lot of it, when asked by my mom as to why I cared about the engagement ring... was for them. I wanted THEM to take me seriously.

After a number of long term starts and stops I worried they'd look at each other at our announcement and say something snarky like "Yeah, I'm sure this one will stick!!! HA HA HA!!!"

So we spent the afternoon thinking of places, and people to invite. I have to confess it was a little daunting realizing that if I have this wedding in my home town, that we're going to have to triple the size of the wedding. *insert me fainting*

It went from 25 of our most intimate friends to people I haven't spoken to in over 5 years. Not sure how I feel about it, frankly. But I'm not going to throw the baby out with the bath water. But also not sure yet if I'm willing to resign to that.

We'll see. Felipe and I both were looking at getting married on a beach, and just having the party there: "ghetto style" as Papi calls it. Which I'm all over, however, he forgot in the ghetto - you gotta have booze - and that won't fly in Cali state parks. He's willing to forgo it, I'm not sure I am!

It'd be so much simpler to plan it here if this is indeed where we'll be. But there are just no guarantees!

enjoying...

2006-02-22T11:24:00.000-08:00

Z4byJD
Been looking at this guys' stuff. I'm almost as impressed by this artwork as I am by the beautiful lines in the BMW Z4. Jesus. Can you say compound curves?

Have I found a new replacement for BBEdit AND Dreamweaver?
Still checking it out, but so far I'm digging it.

Listening to Pandora!
It's interesting seeing how things evolve from the Music Genome Project to this.

Hopefully I'll have something a bit more substantive to post, but for now...

So exhausted

2006-01-18T17:16:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's been a month. Unreal.
I can't even address the holidays. It's just to much time passed.
This last 2 weeks at work nearly killed me. I've got about 21 hours accumulated of "overtime" (I'm salaried) between the last two weeks. Not counting the extra hours I put in during the weeks... this is just the weekend time. But it feels like I've not been able to live my life for the past two weeks, and it's been tough.

I have a sore throat and feel that my body is going to make me pay for rousting it in the middle of the night all this weekend and insisting that it work from 3 am, until noon - just so my mind can relax enough to sleep.

My job (like a lot of people's I'm sure) is keeping balls in the air. Each course we do has so many parts, and while I don't single handedly do all of it - I have a great team - I do a lot to pull all of it together. So making sure that everything is done literally wakes me up at night. Did I configure the scripts in that database to run the correct number of records... blah blah.

So tonight I'm celebrating a difficult decision. I chose between two classes, dropped the other one, bought my books yesterday for my class, printed the syllabus and then tried to settle in last nite to get myself excited about taking my class this semester. All that settled in was depression. It just felt like it'd been too long since I got to do what I wanted to do. The work the past two weeks just compounded it, and this morning I decided to sell back my books and drop the class.

God the books were boring:
Instructional Design in Technical Areas, e-Learning and the Science of Instruction, and Graphics for Learning. Who knows on a different day I might be all over it. But after manipulating I don't know how many graphics for Art courses, and deving 6 courses (3 of which were done over the last 4 weeks), the last thing I wanted to care about was the Science of Instruction. My mind is too muddled with the boring making-it-happen parts.

But I'm so excited to have time to write and paint. I started working on a character. That's about all I have at the moment. But we'll see. May come to nothing, but I'll get to spend time thinking about it, writing stuff. And that beats making design mockups for courses/classes that won't even exist.

Celebrated by scraping together what little chocolate chips were left and 1/2-ing the recipe so that I could make cookies. TASTY! So Pico and I are enjoying the house together listening to Brazilian jazz and NOT reading about Cognitive Load Theory.

We're going to...

2005-12-15T06:14:00.000-08:00

FISBEES!! As Felipe calls Bisbee. In writing it I think it's a combinition of Felipe/Bisbee, but I could be wrong. Going to head out tomorrow. There is so much I still need to think about, but haven't had time what with all of the insomnia and doing important things like re-coloring my blog! Priorities!

I'm excited to go. I'm just hoping it will be a long enough trip. Taking ALL of our stuff. I'm going to take some paints and things. I'm hoping it will be relaxing yet serve to kind of awaken things in me. And on the less artsy side I'm hoping to rekindle the desire to not be a pig and hike. I've been dying, for some reason, to paint/draw the back of my dog. If I'm at the computer he will come over, nudge and then turn his back to me and sit - all in the vein of "Hey it's obvious. PET ME." And his little head sits atop no shoulders with this rounded otter body. It's endearing, most likely, only to me. But I have to own it. Draw it. Have it. So if I can get him to sit still... uh. yeah.

Felipe set off at the crack this morning to give a final. He's planning to stay there and grade them and submit them all so he's ready to leave town tomorrow. I think both of us realize we're DESPARATE to get away - he, more than me, perhaps. It will be interesting to be in a place where there is no internet. And our phones may just stay in the car, or off. We'll see.

But I'm home solo right now, and it's this crazy feeling of freedom that I don't want to give it up and get ready for work. I need to get moving, as the later I get there, the later I have to stay... and did I mention I have things to prepare?!

Dagger in the heart...

2005-12-07T13:26:00.000-08:00

Another favorite

Originally uploaded by phatmunkay.

I've been on a red and turquoise jag lately, so I thought I'd add this to the page. Not to mention falling on my dagger lately with insecurity. Just finished the first semester and feeling all kinds of wondering - but am I good enough. It's weird. I can get straight As and yet I'm pretty sure I didn't deserve them. It's kind of pathetic. Just trying to run with it, and be happy to be done with school. Looking forward to a weekend with the dog and the man with no other obligations. God. We won't know what to do with each other! Or will we? *evil grin*

Ctrl Z

2005-11-30T12:11:00.000-08:00

I do this with CTRL Z:

http://www.dooce.com/archives/nubbin/11_29_2005.html

Have you ever had a moment that was kind of done wrong, and you really wanted to just have a redo? I've had that flash in my head at times, like the above, where I thought "Just hit CTRL Z." It's a quick blink, and I realize - oh shit. This is reality. Some day. Some day.

But what I've realized is I shouldn't get TIVO or my perceptions will be ALL KINDS OF EFFED UP.

Happy Birthday Phoebe!

2005-11-28T08:23:00.000-08:00

Phoebe!

Originally uploaded by phatmunkay.

Just a shout out to my girl Phoebe Jane. There are so many memories I have with her and all of them involve some sort of chaos. The good kind. She's a force to be reckoned with and when she decides to do something, it gets done. This woman makes shit happen, and I'm really proud of her.

Last year for her birthday I was actually in the area, and it was phenomenal. Whenever you can ride the coattails of her planning expertise, do it. Gourmet Vegan dinners, Mendocino weekend, Dune Hi-Jinx/Trauma, Massages in Spas, gifts from Eco-Friendly shops, I had to ask myself whose birthday it was again?

We had a glorious time, and selfishly, I'll always think of it around this time of year. It was one of the best times of my life. And you know people are important when the percentage of those times are with them, and are also even the most mundane of times spent in their presence.

This picture was taken on the lawn outside the Legion of Honor Museum in SF. It was a fueled day (they all are) of us packing artistic experiments and experience into every second. With Phoebe you truly feel alive. I don't know if it's an accident, but being near her is to be catalyzed. I don't know if it's us as a concoction, or either of us standing alone, but when we get together - it's positively madness. And it's VERY FUN.

I met Phoebe in college. UC Berkeley would have been a downright mundane experience without her. We've known each other for over 11 years. And while that might not be long in some people's view, we've been witness to each other's growth and troubles, and having her in the wings has been invaluable and seemed to alter those into dog years. So it's REALLY been 77. So her age would be... ;) kidding!

I love you with all my heart, Phoebe. You're truly special to me.

Omarosa

2005-11-22T13:59:00.000-08:00

Are we being forced to endure her 15 minutes of fame in dog years, or something?

www.gofugyourself.com

dog olives

2005-11-15T08:15:00.000-08:00

Well, they have these new olives at whole foods. They're behind the counter in the cheese section. Quite gourmet. Different flavors. And apparently they're the new dog biscuit. Last night I was watching tube - taking in some CSPAN. I know. Rivetting. I think it was on the future of Solar Panels, globalization and the President's plan for the energy crisis... other than digging up pristine wildlife refuges, apparently. So I got up to cook, mindlessly leaving the olives on the coffee table. Midway through dinner prep, I thought "Oh SHIT!" Looked over, and Pico was literally sitting there knawing his bone. I was so impressed, and proud. "He knows better." I thought.

Ten minutes later, I walk into the living room to see him sprawled out on the couch one paw behind his head and the other tossing olives in the air and catching them in his teeth. Ok, more like skulking around with olive oil on his muzzle, but you get the point. I was begging for it, so I can't blame him but I was FURIOUS. Apparently you don't mess with my olives. So after bestowing the wrath and putting him in his Kennel, I spent the rest of the night randomly grabbing his bone and pretending to chew it so that he realized who the top dog really was. Yeah, now you know how really screwed up I am! If I could bark and growl, I would have. No inverting the social order in my house. Nevermind the me-leaving-them-right-there part. I just hope I get this worked out before I have kids.

Grabbing a moment...

2005-11-07T18:42:00.000-08:00

Well this is going to be a bit of freestyling.
I realized this weekend that when I'm completely overwhelmed by things I need to do and the constant question of "will it all get done?" I begin fantasizing of living somewhere else. I start missing family! Sputter!?! FAMILY? Yes. I can hardly believe it either. Although my nephews are fast becoming two of the smartest people I know.

I got out of class and should be using this time to pull together and finalize an outline on a presentation I need to run through tomorrow, but then reality takes over and I kind of say - oh screw it. Not due for another 3 weeks and I have it somewhat together. That and I'm fried. So instead I started reading blogs. Ventured off from Boegles to some of her amazingly gifted and talented friends - who shall remain nameless. But it made me realize - I should "get out" more often. And talk to these people - if even just virtually.

On Friday nite it just happened that Luc and Elke called when we'd just bought strange beers to try over the course of the week, I had protein thawed, an assortment of cool veggies and Felipe was already vaccuuming the living room. That and I was planning to COOK. I mean if that doesn't say INVITE THEM OVER NOW, I don't know what does. To have the planets align in such a fashion, well, you can't just ignore that. So we had a great time. I had a really non-human day. Was kind of freaking out about having a meeting with really talented faculty, but we're both being put in the position of creating the impossible in an impossible time frame: A wonderful online course with lots of media in less than 3 months.

So I was wigging about it, and the certain powers that be that are forcing this into a reality. I know, get fired for writing about work, blah blah blah... but nothing I wouldn't say and haven't said. So there it be.

Being with friends made me realize - oh god. This is what it's about! Getting out of my mini world. It's sad. I need to do it more often.

This weekend I went to the bookstore. I was craving to paint, or bead. Something creative. I managed to do my work (Side work, and course projects) and designed two necklaces. I want to give one to my sister. Who will also remain nameless. Whenever I make jewelry I realize that I must love her most - either that or assume she loves the same jewelry I do so I make the most beautiful, use the best beads - all the beads I really want for myself and use them all for her. It feels weird to find this out, because often I wouldn't think her my "favorite" sister. But apparently. She is. Also in digging for my pliers I found a painting that I love that I did probably 2 years ago that I need to finish. My goal for after the semester is to finish it and hang it.

At the bookstore I bought a random assortment of things that made me feel human. A soap making book. Just for kicks. An Umberto Eco book - Focault's Pendulum. Who knows if I'll get through it. Given my gnat's attention span. But the first few pages had me hooked. And an odd book called "The Cultural Creatives" I literally glimpsed it. It may be fruity, but it seemed to be moving in the right vein of movement for change. So I look forward to reading something different. All of this school reading is kind of getting me down. Most days I enjoy it, but the organizing it into a verbal presentation. Oh god. Anything but that. A 20 page paper. Fine. A 20 minute presentation?

Reminds me of my internship when I would give behind the scene tours of the Anasazi Heritage Center. During one with a group of highschoolers, I had the most rambunctious yet sincere teenager ask me with great concern if I was going to be ok, as hives broke out all across my face and neck as I soldiered through "And here we have the bird point collection donated by..." You know it's bad when heartless teenagers are concerned.

But tonight my plan is to go home. Grab a book not related to anything. And read.

Havasupai falls

2005-11-04T11:50:00.000-08:00

Us near the second fall
Originally uploaded by phatmunkay.

Here we are!

Haunted House!

2005-11-03T15:24:00.000-08:00

Haunted house
Originally uploaded by phatmunkay.

Marco the pumpkin

2005-11-03T15:23:00.000-08:00

Marco the pumpkin!
Originally uploaded by phatmunkay.

I want one of these... pumpkins, that is.

del.icio.us

2005-10-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

Oh the hours that can be whiled away looking at what OTHERS think are fabulous sites. From booking an apartment in Paris to the MIT God and Computers series, to Dr. Dobbs NetCast, to the Flock browser. I. CAN'T. STOP.

del.icio.us

testing

2005-10-20T16:43:00.000-07:00

Realization

2005-10-20T08:59:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to make much money any time soon off of side work.

More and more I think about teaming up with a graphic designer. While I enjoy it, it's got to be the toughest part of this whole thing. I slowly wonder if print work should be dabbled with. It's something I've always done because people have wanted me too... but I'm really just a made for web kind of girl.

Realizations
1) My chops may not be good enough for me to charge a serious top dollar for print.
2) I'm still insecure in my abilities and I've decided it's ok to charge less until I feel more secure (specifically print work) - you want a website, you'll pay through the nose.
3) Do I even want to do print? We'll see.

I find myself getting frustrated with the time it takes me to do stuff... When I calm down and kind of think it's a learning process, and every hour of my life doesn't have to have a $ attached to it, I calm down.

Almost a month Part deux.

2005-10-20T08:53:00.000-07:00

I keep coming to this page being suprised that I still have a blog. I didn't read any license agreement so I wouldn't be surprised if like email - if you don't use that free account you lose that free account. So I'm always pleasantly surprised when I come here and I still have a blog.

Day 2 with no coffee. You can't imagine the apathy. I went from enthusiastic about everything to a little slow, apathetic, tired, headachey and unable to focus. I thought about what an amazing industry coffee is. In the morning I would get my legitimate fix like many others in other nations - so that I could greet the day with an impressive amount of productivity. It seems a shame not to go back to that happy existence.

I may or may not. After suffering through this - I'm tempted to switch to decaf so I won't have to experience this ever again. But on the flipside... will this go away!?

The good news is I'm sleeping quite well at nite. Huh. Funny how that works.

Life is still busy as ever. I keep struggling to make more money with side stuff etc., and it's interesting how there's always something that comes up that seems to siphon it away. I'd love to meet people with savings to know "What the hell is your secret?"

Almost done with my Venti decaf. (yes, I cringe with the ease that I write this co-opted Italian? word...)

I'll try and write more after my nap.

Almost a month!

2005-09-29T07:40:00.000-07:00

It's been about a month since I posted. Not that many noticed! But for me it's kind of about staying on track - and this seems to help that. This semester/month has been a crazy one. I'm in the process of:

taking two graduate classes in educational technology

the courses require two major projects each which is fun but daunting

taking on one major e-commerce side job/site redesign

taking on a side print job

...and oh yeah while I'm at it, creating a webpresence for myself.

did I mention all of the above has to be completed - by Nov. 1?

all while working that OTHER 40 hr/wk job?

Thus the incommunicado. I feel like I can get it done. Yes denial sometimes proves effective. Otherwise I'd be unable to type what with all the clumps of hair getting in the way. Excercise is falling by the wayside, however. And just at a time when the weather is getting nice for biking, and I'm really starting to enjoy yoga.

And friends? What's that? I completely didn't see my friend Mo this past weekend, even after saying I could I got so wrapped up in assignments, libraries, and clients. I of course still need to call and explain this to him. But I think part of it is there is no explanation. Not really an acceptable one.

So that said it's back to work. I'm hoping to get a hike in today - at least. The no-car thing really blows. I'm going to have to get creative so that I can have the car at least 1x a week to go do what I want. The real problem is my inability to wake up in the morning to go biking. Because that could easily be fit in - if I weren't busy drooling into my pillow.

The word for today is...

2005-08-30T13:47:00.000-07:00

Compassion. Or empathy. I'm not sure which yet. I'm sick, again. After reading the last entry or so I realized 1) I haven't written in ages, 2) I've had this for a long time. It's allergies, I seem sure, since it's just constant coughing, and the lovely clear phlegm that says cough away! No meds for you!

So I rack my ribs nightly and now daily with this fun. I'm buying stock in Robitussin. It finally got into my chest now, so I'm thankful my coughs sound real and manly. Not those empty coughs of last week. So I'm home today. I think I'm going to drag myself to class, though, as I don't dare want to get behind in things. I'm sure my fellow students will appreciate me bringing the plague to them in the form of recirculated air and blankets.

Spoke with Mo last nite. And it was really nice to talk to him. I had this realization after we hung up that it was our first conversation in a long time, and it was so easy and natural. Made me miss my really good friends.

This entry is so mundane. Suffice it to say with the two upper div courses I'm taking this semester my time is filled with reading, and writing. And I miss writing other things like fiction and this. But it feels purposeful, and right, even if right now it may not be the degree I want. At least I'm pursuing something to check off the list if that's the eventual case.

Ok. Off to FINALLY brush teeth and if I'm really motivated, take a bath. Yes it is 2pm here too.

Oh and as for compassion/empathy. It seems that being sick and tired has lent this fuzzy golden hue to my day. I'm more patient, more loving, I don't kick my dog as much. It's kind of wierd. I'm less uptight even in my affection. It doesn't have that urgent quality. It's more relaxed. Hey being sick is almost as good as yoga. You can tell I'm not on my deathbed. More like beaten into submission by the energy and soreness of coughing.

and Sybil's OTHER personality

2005-08-12T16:43:00.000-07:00

Well, on the one hand I would love to quit my job and do something else. But in the meantime, my plan is to take advantage of the tuition waiver and check out the Education Technology Masters. Not exactly my first choice. But it's what I do. So today I got my books. I feel like a kid again!

Pico Nessman

2005-08-06T07:27:00.000-07:00

Just accidentally drank Felipe's coffee. Blahgh! Has cream. I'm more of a black kind of girl. The alarm went off this morning and my heart sank - shit, I have to go to work!? That whole weekend thing was all a ruse. Then I realized we're heading to Flagstaff today. Yippee! Getting out of this god-awful heat into woodsy goodness even if for one day. So thankful.

Thinking of hiking Humphrey's the highest peak in AZ. Although none of us, but the dog is in shape - and that's due mainly to his youth, and not any extra exercise we've been in charge of. Figure we'll see how far we get and take a lot of food, how can that be bad. Going to leave soon so we can justify a pre-hike hangout/breakfast at Macy's one of the only hippie/vegetarian/vegan coffeehouses in existance in AZ. Not a vegetarian, or vegan for that matter, but you learn quick in AZ to respect your hippies. They're like condors, and their love of good food and ideaologies are scant in this state. So I follow them around like suitors.

Since the remodel - which ended months ago - and after our vacation we can't rouse ourselves to do anything around here. The side effect of that is that every door we painted: 2 bathrooms and a bedroom - have no door knobs.

Who needs them anyway? And instead of doing the work of 10 minutes or whatever it would take to put them back on, I've got the dog part way to respecting thresholds. He's like Less Nessman and the tape. So if I go into the bathroom, here comes Pico. So I tell him out, and out he goes, his head straddling the threshold onto my feet.

This is relatively new and a result of me losing my shit one night as we were starving and trying to cook dinner with him winding in and out of our legs and then collapsing on the cool linoleum in the middle of our paths. I grabbed the shaker can (the upgrade to Phoebe's spray solution now that he likes water) and shaked it like an ugly banshee screeching "OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUTTTT!!!!" *shake shake shake shake shake!!!!!*

Ever since, he's happy to oblige my "boundaries" if you will.

This wasn't the case when Phoebe was here. I hear a faint plea from the next room with a slight Kentucky drawl, "Phoebe?! Can you come here?" It's one of those things being stuck on the toilet and unable to get the dog out. Therefore really excited for this new out thing. If I could now train him to close the door behind him, I'd have it made.

Illustration Friday - Empty

2005-08-05T14:39:00.000-07:00

empty
Originally uploaded by phatmunkay.

This is for Illustration Friday. It's beyond pathetic. But this one 20 minute effort is my first in vector drawing. I've been so afraid of it, and it took an internet project to get me off my ass and just try.

A public internet project. Funny. Huh, I'm not willing to try FreeHand or Illustrator - because what if I suck. And now it's all about HEY!! I SUCK!! but look I DID IT!!

People are strange. I wanted to try to signify the things in life that are good when they are empty. The empty journal is always nice for me. I enjoy the crispness and newness. The empty cafe chair that I want to sit in that's NOT taken. But hey, it was about 20 minutes of thought!

No stopping me

2005-08-04T13:32:00.000-07:00

Well, there's no stopping me now. After scoffing at Phoebe because she was hesitating on spending $25 on a Flickr Pro account for a year, I realized, hey, I'm RIGHT - that is only like lunch and a days worth of coffee. Did I give up the lunch? Or the coffee? No. But I've got myself a Pro account. Yeah. Buddy.

I would personally like to kiss the interface designers because genius like that should be rewarded. Intuitive. Fantastic. Oh? Want to edit that title in THIS window?! Well, knock yourself out.

One would assume that this means there will be no stopping me in the picture post department, but that would be folly. There is always apathy. But that doesn't mean I don't have a spurt of activity and post several months all at once! Which is what I've done. Go on, check out what I was doing in April!

Canyon de Chelly

2005-08-04T13:18:00.000-07:00

Canyon walls
Originally uploaded by phatmunkay.

Since I haven't been anywhere extremely interesting lately, decided I'd post something from our trip to Canyon De Chelly - in I believe April!

Beautiful place.

I think I want to be Ani DiFranco

2005-08-02T11:08:00.000-07:00

Who knew. I might look ok with dreads. I'm definitely a "poster girl with no poster." ;)

Defend your civil liberties!

2005-07-22T13:03:00.000-07:00

Please, folks. I think like most I've been too distracted by Rove and Johnson to notice that they are voting to take more of our civil liberties away.

Sign a petition quick!

Contact your Congressmen!

As listed on http://billmon.org/archives/002049.html

This is probably a good time to remind people what Section 215 gives the government the power to do:
Order any person or entity to turn over "any tangible things," so long as the FBI specifies that the order is part of an authorized terrorism or intelligence investigation.
Obtain personal data, including medical records, without any specific facts connecting those records to a foreign terrorist.
Prohibit doctors and insurance companies from disclosing to their patients that their medical records have been seized by the government.
Obtain library and book store records, including lists of books checked out, without any specific facts connecting the records to a foreign agent or terrorist.
Obtain private financial records without a court order, and without notification to the person involved.
Conduct intelligence investigations of both United States citizens and permanent residents without probable cause, or even reasonable grounds to believe that they are engaged in criminal activity or are agents of a foreign power.
Investigate U.S. citizens based in part on their exercise of their First Amendment rights, and non-citizens based solely on their exercise of those rights. (Naturally, decisions about what constitutes "in part" are left to a secret court, meeting secretly.)
Those served with Section 215 orders are prohibited from disclosing that fact to anyone -- even their attorney. (This provision was struck down by a U.S. district court last year.)

Section 213 of PATRIOT, meanwhile, allows federal agents to:
Conduct secret “sneak and peek” searches of your home.
Enter your home or office and seize items for an indefinite period of time, without informing you that a warrant has been issued.

And Section 216 lets the feds:
Seize records that could show the subject lines of your e-mails and the details pf your Web surfing habits.

The craziest sales pitch EVER!

2005-06-29T12:51:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I'd finally had enough. After 3 months + of working on the house, my personal grooming had suffered SERIOUSLY. I mean - the shaggy hair, the brow that'd I'd given up on separating by removing even 3 large hairs in the middle of my scowl. The truth is - I'd let myself go. And Michelle agrees.

I used to go to Rumba. But in a covert exercise of shifting salons, she handed me her new number and even left a message, but that was MONTHS ago. So in a fit of no-loyalty and hairy desparation I made an appointment at the same salon with Michelle. Now if any of you know me - you might be shocked. I look like I belong in a salon as much as a sun ripened construction worker... But frankly this is the one thing I'm really tired of doing myself. I mean 30+ years of plucking the same damn hairs... I mean it's enough to drive you crazy...

I also thought, well, it might be nice to actually talk to the person who does this. Rumba, god love her, I don't think she understood a word I said, and there was a lot of bowing by both of us, and giggling. And I always felt like (as Boegle once put it perfectly) a large bear surrounded by maintenance squirrels. There is something about really feminine Asian or Indian women that makes me feel whiter, larger, and more manly. So I thought - well I'll give it a shot.

So I settle in for my "pampering." Which is really a tear rendering enterprise of me crossing my fingers and holding my eyes open in this over-exaggerated way - which I do almost all the time anyway - naturally.

So as my eyes are watering and fur is flying, the thread keeps BREAKING. I mean I've never had this before. At one point she kind of curses my big thick eyebrow man hairs, but then later confesses her teeth don't really come together well enough to hold the thread with the force that pulling at a rutabega sized hair folicle requires. I apologize, she apologizes. It's all feeling very similar to my usual experience.

Then she asks about my skin routine. God I hate that question. I'm tempted to say - well first I take the Zest, and then I wash my face with it, and sometimes at my office if I'm putting hand lotion on - I'll rub some on my face. THAT's my skin routine. I dodge it by mumbling something like "I'm kind of outdoorsy." As a way to explain all of the wrinkles I've acquired from squinting into the sun while biking or climbing or whatever - but mostly I think it's from scowling and laughing HARD.

So she proceeds to speak with a bit of an accent mind you, through gritted teeth that is holding thread that is ripping out my hair, to sell me on the benefits of The Facial. Now I've always been curious about a facial. But this Facial (which is $70) requires the purchase of a $40 stem cell treatment. Now imagine an Asian woman, with thread gritted between her teeth as she's angrily yanking hair from my face saying over and over: stem cells.

Apparently this treatment that I need so much - because of my horribly dry and wrinkled skin, requires you to keep the stem cell concoction frozen. She uses the first dose on you after your facial and the second dose must be applied within two weeks at which time the "shtem shells" expire. So you need to come back for your second $70 facial within the next 2 weeks. Sounds like a deal to me.

Now call me crazy - but while I'm all for stem cell research. There is something a bit nauseating about the whole "stem cell face serum."

Long story short, I tipped Michelle, told her I would think about her services, left, and immediately rummaged my bag for Rumba's number.

Stay tuned for Part II: The haircut.

Well so much for apathy...

2005-06-24T14:54:00.000-07:00

I decided that I was going to run with it... Working on the house is what I want and enjoy so I went for some changes to the bathroom and the study. A bit obsessed, perhaps. But it feels right. And while I still am dubious about my job, etc. It makes me realize that I have it for a reason! To fuel all of this other stuff. The ability to make my environment what I want. It's really exciting.

On other fronts - a remodel seemed a bit too unexciting, so I decided to add a refinance to the mix. Keep your fingers crossed that everything works ok. I always get so nervous.

The family will be packing into the car and heading out west. Me, Felipe, and Pico will hop in the Honda in a few weeks to head out for my dad's surgery. My sister Di will be there from Austin, so going to try to make a mini-vacation out of it. Might as well, since I was already using 3-4 days - may as well use all 5 days of vacay and have some fun in Santa Cruz.

Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Is that grout on your leg, or are you just happy to see me?

2005-06-13T13:00:00.000-07:00

This morning I get out of the shower and I literally have grout on my inner upper thigh.

It's everywhere. In my hair. My eyelashes. On the backs of my arms?

But it's finished. Tiling is for all intents and purposes DONE!

I bet JarJar Binks was great on the page...

2005-06-10T15:19:00.000-07:00

Even if a screenwriter directs her own movie, it’s never going to be as perfect as it was on the page. Between the camera, the actors, the lights and the locations, nothing will be exactly as she planned it. Directors like George Lucas and Robert Rodriguez may use technology to nudge their films closer and closer to their original vision, but it’s never going to be quite what they imagined. For instance, I bet JarJar Binks was great on the page.

I'm not a screenwriter. But apparently I have friends that are. And they turned me onto this site. There is a reallly interesting section on getting agents and the good of getting a junior agent. Unfortunately the portion about fixing double spaces after periods probably applies more to my current situation... but hey, one can dream.

The other thing I love about this site - is that I'm thinking - hey, aren't you supposed to be writing a script? And instead I get a page on why the monospaced courier fucks with a graphic designers natural desire to put one space after a period. Can you say PROCRASTINATION? I love this guy.

Frugivorous

2005-06-10T15:08:00.000-07:00

Took this last year in the SJO airport after snarffing myself sick on mission figs, white figs, and lychee nuts. All stacked on a Gordon Biersch receipt. Now THAT's living. I miss the Berkeley Bowl.

Content is over-rated

2005-06-10T13:26:00.000-07:00

Apparently what your blog looks like is WAY more important. I spent the morning dinking around with a different template. I'm not a girly girl, and yet I'll spend a morning picking out another outfit for my blog. The thought hit me at lunch, that I could TOTALLY rewrite the CSS backend on this, although I might have to link externally to the background images, which would slow it down.

Anyway - that just opened a fat can of worms.

It does make me wonder, when is concern over aesthetics considered admirable - i.e. appreciation for great design and art, and when is it superficial, and frankly, consumerist?

As someone who is knee deep in a home remodel. I find being able to choose the colors, the textures, the fixtures, etc. and designing an environment exactly how I want it - almost obsessive. And my brain doesn't want to stop. I've lived in my home - happily and unhappily for a few years. And I think remodelling the bedroom - is no mistake. It's the one room in the house that was the bosom of all of the problems in my life at the time. I'd hated the room, it's smell, the fact that the furniture in it wasn't mine, I would never choose it. The bedspread was horrid as well as my current boyfriend's ex'. Ew. I could have fixed it, and yet we could never agree. I could never take a step because we were mired in all of the problems that pointed simply to the fact that we weren't right for each other - and I hadn't the energy to deal with any of it.

Now this room is becoming it's own. I couldn't have done it without Felipe. His hard work, and input, and caring. He cares about making this better - eventhough our house isn't a mansion - he cares about investing his time in making this one thing we will share "ours." Granted, I probably also love him and his input because he lets me make a large % of the choices. If not all. As long as I buy him dessert, I pretty much have free reign. However, it's never really hard since we both have similar taste and seem to find a comprimise - if our tastes are radically different.

It seems that a good portion of my life is centered around how things look: websites, walls, backyards, dvd covers, houses. I just seem to care SO MUCH what color something is. And a part of that feels dirty. I know someday I'll be up half the night worrying about whether my child's fever will go down. And I know it WON'T be the same as the insomnia I feel when I'm consumed with color choices. So I know - deep down, I know what's important. But for now I spend a lot of time tweaking color palettes and hoping that because of it my life won't be considered an empty chase.

God. Yes. I AM too lazy to write my own content...

2005-06-09T16:45:00.000-07:00

But this is pretty hysterical. I'm perusing Dooce and getting these. So I'm lazy AND unoriginal... but figured I'd be honest about it:

http://www.tremble.com/scribblins/000539.html

... oh and add bored. lazy, unoriginal and bored... yes. THAT'S it.

"I'd already dated Holden Caulfied a few times and was sick of his shit..."

2005-06-09T16:38:00.000-07:00

"I always regretted not reading Salinger until I was 20, which is way too old. I mean, I can appreciate it, and I’ll always have a soft spot for For Esme, With Love and Squalor, but you’ve really got to be barely legal in order to make Salinger stick for a lifetime. Had I read Catcher in the Rye at 16 like everyone else, I might have fallen in love with it, but at 20, I’d already dated Holden Caulfield a few times and was sick of his shit."

"Cleavage isn't intended to be a geometry teaching tool."

2005-06-03T15:06:00.000-07:00

And to counter balance the Literature Felipe is having me read.
Go Fug Yourself

Reading...

2005-06-03T14:48:00.000-07:00

Felipe recommended this book to me, and I couldn't put it down. Sadly, it's over. And I have no more page turning:

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Suskind.

In looking for this book on Amazon, I noticed that Oprah is pimping Faulkner for her Summer Book Club. I supose I should be grateful that she's getting folks to read an author that I enjoy - and yet there is something annoying about it. As though there weren't enough fabulous editions of these books out there. But I guess there's something about that "golden O" that draws folks in. Jesus.

My new best friend...

2005-06-03T14:27:00.000-07:00

The Spray Bottle. That's right. Give me the respect I DESERVE!

Mo Money!!!!

2005-06-03T14:23:00.000-07:00

After fielding complaints that he's not prevalent enough on my blog after the debaucherous weekend spent with Boegle. I decided to post this in a rather prominent spot. Happy now?! That and I had to make public the evidence I had for all those nay sayers that "Yes, here's proof. LOFAT PAID FOR LUNCH!!!!" *thx, boegle for the pic*

insomnia

2005-06-02T01:50:00.000-07:00

It's 1:50 am. And frankly sleep is over rated. I mean, why not spend all night spinning my mental wheels in an endless unresolvable futility over the following: should I get the beech laminate or the alder? Is the wide pattern on the Alder going to turn into the 2000's version of the 70s sticker wood? Should I worry about this? I mean is there such a thing as timeless design? Do I get the stuff that will last forever - given this stickerwood quandry? Or get the cheap stuff that will need replacing in 5 years - at which time I can spend another set of sleepless nights pondering the then current flooring options? Should I get up and blog? Read? Is it bad that I put my friends real names on my blog? Should I try and not do that? But I don't really have nicknames for all of them, so what do I call them? Do I make up names? Why do I write this fucking thing anyway? There should be documentation on this somewhere, right? Well that seems a good reason to attend the BlogHer conference. I wonder if work would pay? No. Of course not. Should I just get up now and work? Will I just fuck up the roster imports tomorrow given that my coworkers instructions where, in true sys admin fashion, 5 pages long including the documentation of the database fields. Whatever happened to the step by step instruction for the particular shit I want to do? When did the world get complicated and decide providing me with too much information was a good idea? Will I be too tired to bike tomorrow morning? Is the 30 oz of Squirt that I decided to digest at 9:30 the culprit behind all of this? I can't wait for that room to be done already. This is what started this. I couldn't even read due to the fact that I was busy pondering the Alder/Beech dilemma. Is this what I've become?

Felipe surprised me again today. (There I go using real names again.) Second day in a row I come home to something. Yesterday it was to all the walls freshly painted in the bedroom. Today it was new outlets and the fan completely installed. I can't tell you how I've waited for someone like this. I was flabbergasted at how quiet the fan is. And no Boegle - it's not like having people stuck in pinwheel formation over our heads whirling about and cooling us with their 6 foot wingspan. But the fucker is huge, I'll give her that.

We went to home depot - completely bedraggled tonight. I wondered if these people had seen this look in so many hundreds before us. The Rennovation Glaze. The "we want to finish this shit so badly that we'll come to HD every fucking day if necessary even when we're exhausted" look. I frankly had odds and ends to return and given the number of receipts I have for everything - I was like fuck it. I'm just going to turn around and spend it again. The lady chastised me ever so politely in that white trash - I'm REALLY only concerned about YOUR credit - way and not the fact that I've got to deal with all of your inane bullshit returns. She informed me that if you return too many things without receipts apparently there is a black mark next to my name in the HD book that will eventually lose me the honor of returning these things for store credit. I'm like, Huh. It doesn't mention that on this sign here about returning things without receipts. Matter of fact it seems to be a straight consumer option. But fine. She wants receipts, I'll bring her the 5-6 that this shit is scattered about on.

So I knew I'd been at this too long, when we strolled down the baseboard aisle to see how much leeway I'd have in laying the tile - shit, I KNEW I'd forget something (meant to get a chalkline). So I'm looking at the baseboards, and I lost it when looking at the various diagrams to see the width of the baseboards. Of the many posted the one we chose had a diagram with the height listed in inches and the width listed in mm. That's what's wrong with America today. I mean Jesus. No shame, even. I get it that a hundred different machines, countries, people and technology are responsible for the parts in my car/bike, so to have an english screw next to a metric one. Ok. I understand - even if I do curse the world while I try to find the right fucking wrench. But the AUDACITY to post that shit, on a sign - when how hard would it be to provide it in either ONE or the OTHER. And yes, I am biased, because this country decided NOT to use metric, so stop fucking waffling and either teach me metric in school or get over it. I know I sound like some kind of Isolationist - but more it's the complete frustration of what the fuck is 12mm?

I understand that metric is a better system, and frankly I wished we used it - like the rest of the world that wasn't the colony of some small ass island. But that's not the point! I said as the muscles in my neck stretched. Felipe just patted my arm, laughed and said, "sana, sana, colita de rana." Which I think is Spanish for, Calm your shit down, white lady. It's fucking moulding.

On the way home I decided to quell this horror of American culture with another: The Big Gulp. I think it was actually its comparatively svelte cousin: the 32 oz. Cooler Cup. Felipe insisted on drinking "the French way" which was a 20 oz. drink with tons of ice making it probably a 10 oz drink, and sipping it with a coffee stirrer. I shoved the piece of PVC pipe, that they supply you with for the more serious beverages, into my lid and sucked hard in my soon-to-be-just-like-all-the-other-obese-americans derision. Thinking - the French don't even use ice - and you're in America now, so grab your metric... or is that english? hex wrench and let's get to work.

you know you're old when...

2005-05-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

it takes you the week to recuperate from your weekend so you can blog about it.

whirlwind

2005-05-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

Well the boegle has left the building, and I'm a worn and empty shell. The first nite was spent forgetting all of the "this before that so you don't puke your lungs out" drinking rules. I realized the next morning, as I awoke at 7:30 still a bit drunk and "shakey cheeze." It turned into a good day. We had spent the nite partying with lofat and am always impressed with his ability to have a good time and share that joy with those around him. Thanks for the ride, btw.

The next morning was filled with a bit of guilt as I shirked previous plans since Boegle and I hadn't spent much time with The Man. So after much debate, we settled on a Cuban restaurant and the Phoenix Art Museum. The food was amazing. I had a seafood "potage" - I think that means soup, or chowder. It was the bomb-diggity. Ate muscles - which were amazing, except that I keep realizing - I don't eat shellfish with those little green stomach sacks. Uh. Gross. But the muscle "juice" of butter, wine, etc. NOW THAT was something I could eat every day. After sopping up every last bit, my cuban fried chicken showed up. I know. I too thought, but you can get fried chicken ANYWHERE. But, I ask you, is THAT fried chicken marinated in rum, and some other Cuban fabulousness to be rolled in corn meal? These little bony chunks of meat literally melted in my mouth.

Then it was all about desert. I went for the mango flan. Phoebe went for something like "gypsy purses" or some shit (of course) - I think it sounded even more exotic... and Papi went for a strawberry desert of fried bread pudding over strawberries. Yeah. Buddy.

Then we went to the museum. At this point I was feeling like a walking turd. I sat for good portions of time. Pretending to ruminate on THAT ONE painting... because seeing ALL of the paintings is over rated. There was one painting that was amazingly beautiful. Detailed. Reds, oranges, blues. Mixing the pagan traditions with Catholicism. If I weren't a hungover turd - you'd get to see a picture of it.

Went home, and later scraped it together and went to Lee Lee's market which is the Asian food emporium here in AZ. We wandered for over an hour. Picked out ingredients to fill our sushi, and went home and made unagi, shrimp and (fake) crab sushi. Then the brownies.

It didn't stop the entire time she was here!

When she left she imparted us with new skills, new recipes, new emory boards that say: "She didn't ask for it!" and the phone # for the bay area rape crisis center, a saki set, a moon calendar, chocolate candy, brownies *no, not what you think*, lychee nut deserts, Pico's broken heart, the movie Dead Man with Johnny Depp (now you know why I love her), the idea for using a spray bottle to discipline our dog, and the quietest house since my parents left.

We miss you, boegle.

are we pregnant?

2005-05-09T14:41:00.000-07:00

Warning: TMI.

Thanks Boegle for this thoughtful solution to our inability to keep track of our periods. And thanks again, for posting to it from your site. I've returned the favor!

Are We Pregnant?

worker bees

2005-05-09T13:53:00.000-07:00

Oh and the exciting weekends just never STOP!! Such is the remodel. We did impress ourselves, though, with our never ending ability to TEAR SHIT UP! We moved electrical after CUTTING HOLES IN THE CEILING. Now I know for those of you who are construction/remodel old hats, you're chuckling to yourself, thinking "Yeah, bring it. What I've seen would make you whimper." But this strangely rivalled the toilet removal and having intimate access to MY SEWER LINE. There is something about fucking up sheetrock that scares the shit out of me. But we did it, drilled holes to run new electrical cable, and reinforced the ceiling box for the new fan.

After that, we pulled out the lovely vinyl tiles out of the bathroom, and I spent some serious time scraping up what looked like mottled phlem of jasco, adhesive, and paint chips. You know you're pathetic when you fall in love with your "plush" face mask. You know, the one that has the rubber mask that will forever remind me of Blue Velvet. I just can't tell you the hours I spent in those scratchy white dust masks. So muy appreciative of the rubber hummer.

Ok. So back to the riveting remodel story. Our bathroom currently has NOTHING IN IT. And is actually nicer that way than it was when it was sporting 70's ranchero looking dark "wood" cabinets and the stylish wrought iron hardware... that is ALMOST back in. I'm going retro in the bathroom. Given it's the size, literally, of a postage stamp, I'm all about going balls out. Yeah that's right... I'll take the white mosaic tile. I know it's expensive, but I'd like about 2 square feet of it. ;) Yeah, we know how to live.

Proceeded to pull out the carpet and pad from the bedroom. I have to say, I've got a nice slab. That's right. Tempted to not even put the laminate wood floor down... Currently it's painted a light yellow, and after yesterday I was thinking - huh, I could make that work! Since I was a child I've had a strange affinity for painted concrete. Dreamed of someday having my own home where I could paint the front walk red. Or green. Or that blood brown color.

I digress. So we are THAT close to painting the bedroom, and after doing some ventillation action in the bathroom, we should be able to paint that. I'm DYING for white grout. But it's like anything else. I don't dare get white anything, eventhough I love it. I'm not sure what the bathroom equivalent to mustard dripped down the front of one's shirt, or say coffee spilled on every part of my body... but I know I'm capable of whatever that is. And I picture myself feeling inadequate, on my hands and knees with a toothbrush, thinking as I have on so many other occasions: "When will I learn I should never own anything nice! I'm not one of those people."

Although, Felipe might be. We worked all day yesterday - and he wasn't dirty. He wore work clothes and they didn't get stained? HOW? I literally had two bloodstains and several drips of coffee on my jeans by the end of the day - not to mention the joint compound stuck in a peaked mound like a third breast (yes, larger than the others - and no that's not hard) to my chest. So I'm hoping that will rub off on our bathroom, and although I'm incapable of owning and caring for anything nice - he is.

I'll keep you posted on that one. I've always hoped that, though, in dating men. I always pick everything I'm not - but admire - and hope that I will absorb it by osmosis... Yeah, apparently prior to this I was hoping to be more of an assertive complainer.

Well that was the weekend. Stay tuned for: Re-wiring the bathroom, Bathroom ventillation install (which may involve penetrating the roof. Yeah - we may wait on that one), ceiling fan install, and wood floor install - and the finale?! New baseboards... like I say did I mention? We know how to live?

my girl, boegle... will be HERE next Friday!

2005-05-04T10:01:00.000-07:00

actually... Thursday.

Since I've yet to figure out how to post links to folks on this bad boy - in a separate link section.... here's my friend Phoebe, who:

"Was all over Flickr to day like a wet shirt."

http://hellomy.name/is/phoebe/

babies, blooms and branleurs

2005-05-03T04:25:00.000-07:00

This morning after being lured into the yard by Pico's breaking of a geranium pot, I picked roses. They are finally not infested with bugs and browning before they bloom. They're filling the house and it feels really special.

This weekend was Maite's baby shower! It was much fun facilitating (note: facilitating NOT partaking in - thanks to Elke!) ridiculous games like Which candy bar is that smashed and melted in the premie diaper? See if you don't giggle every time somebody sniffs or tastes the contents of a diaper. Oh and did I mention this was co-ed? Yeah, click below to see guys sniffing diapers.

View men sniffing diapers! *sounds like a spam subject line*

After the shower, the man and I settled in and watched a nature show. I was exhausted from too much sugar, socializing and sun. Luc called to go to his house for a bbq, and we rallied and went for what we thought would be an early-to-bed low key evening. It ended in cut throat strategy and me calling Felipe a cheater ;) We played Tarot - a French card game - until 3:30 in the morning. Let me tell you - if you ever start, don't expect to sleep. The last time I played this game, Felipe called at 10pm (the game wouldn't conclude until 4am) I was so into it, and also getting glares from around the table of "don't even think of answering it." In trying to turn off the phone, I answered. At the time we were still potential climbing partners that hadn't realized potential. To this day, I am not allowed to live down the "You know, I'm sorry, I'm in the middle of something - I'll try and call you tomorrow?" After that, Felipe vowed to never call me again.

Don't worry - I called him, and the rest is history. And that night, in a fit of pointed competitive bitterness I asked Luc the french word for "cocksucker."

techno-whore

2005-04-29T16:24:00.000-07:00

http://hardware.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/04/29/2048245&from=rss
Thanks T-man.

Luddite dreamin'

2005-04-29T13:59:00.000-07:00

In my dream last nite I managed to get covered in leeches. Don’t ask me how this happened. But prior to that I had been talking to a man who was either Tony Soprano or my gradeschool friend Leanne’s father Bill. Apparently the two are married in my mind. What a New Jersey gangster has to do with a California vegetable broker I’ll never know, but there you go. (No I'm not working an east coast/west coast Bizarro world angle here. Although if it were fiction - I might just have to...) So Tony/Bill is relaying to me, while sobbing in my arms, mind you, that late that night their computer came on and they received an IM from a man in NY. The NY IMer chimed in “you should try the nuts,” in answer to Bill/Tony and Karen/Carmella’s conversation regarding midnight snacks. This frightening interplay with what must be a cross-continent web-cam planting stalker resulted in Tony/Bill confiding into my shoulder, “I’m getting out.” Now one might ask, “Out of what? The mob?”

Well my brain said Technology. He’s getting out of technology. Not using computers anymore. And I thought while patting him on the back, but that’s impossible. What I said was, “Thank god you have sons to pass the business on to.“ So in my dream not only am I a technophobe, but a total old school sexist, as well (Sorry Leanne, and please pass that along to your sisters.) I digress. I say this, while worrying about my own literal leeches. My mind is thinking of ways to extract them. In the meantime, I end up nabbing their apartment. So while not in NY we were apparently also living in a market that would make the problem of a bugged apartment a non-issue if the rent and location were good. I then spend the rest of the time worrying about the leeches, how to arrange the furniture, and whether I should replace the pet hair riddled carpet with a wood floor.

This has made me approach my day with the idea that I really hate technology. I’m tired of computers. I want to write a book or paint a picture instead. And somehow make a living out of it. Uh, yeah. I say this, and then go to work and spend the morning getting giddy researching the power of AppleScripts. Which is good considering to replace the real life pet stanky carpet I DO HAVE TO PUT IN A WOOD FLOOR. That and this is the extent of my writing career so far.

Straining to be heard...

2005-04-28T09:23:00.000-07:00

My morning, so far, has revolved around excrement. Just a big FYI, don't even think of feeding Pico IAMS soft puppy food. I don't know what it is but eventhough there are two cans left - it's worth the $2 to NOT have to clean THAT off the patio. Then it was the public bathroom. I have to say I'm a partaker in the "courtesy flush." Even after my own extensive research that its benefits are nebulous at best and the vaccuum action created by a flushing toilet does not in fact generate enough power to dispose of odors. That said, it's like an "excuse me." An act of acknowledgement in public of "Oh that was a bodily function I truly have no control over, but please forgive me."

The contrary of this, is The Grunt. I'm not sure what it is, but this is a style of behaviour. Much like mouth breathing. I think it's that base and unconscious. It's the public bathroom grunt. I can't tell you how much I don't want to hear that. I've noticed it in other arenas as well: The Rock Gym. Climbing in a rock gym, you hear all kinds of things. I myself, have been known to let a few FUCK(s) fly in frustration. But never with the grunting. When I hear grunting I think of, yes, the public bathroom phenomenon, and cheezy soft porn. So please. Do me the favor.

Good morning, grumpy

2005-04-27T08:55:00.000-07:00

I think of Nathaniel Hawthorne. Maybe this is my customs job. Maybe. Maybe I’m just inadvertantly talented and I haven’t found exactly what that talent is.

Yeah.

I spoke to a friend of mine - Boegle. You know who you are... and we decided that maybe it'd be best if I just posted over and over again a simple statement that summed up the insecurities of my mind. It beats "processing." I realized why I'm incapable of writing a blog. It inevitably turns into some soul searching process and writing 1 post becomes a day long preoccupation which leads me to the conclusion: I need a fucking life since it seems all I can do is psychoanalyze my own drivle.

So instead, we decided the time saver would be:
Today I feel uncomfortable in my skin, and like I am a talent-less hack.
And just post it over and over.

That's one solution. Today, however, I'm going to aim high, and gun for a post that's not self reflective, and not absurdly superficial.

I woke up grumpy. No coffee before requests to trouble shoot iDVD for my creative boyfriend’s project. Hmm... do I smell a whiff of creative jealousy? It compounded the idea that I'm a tech - to other people’s creative drive. Oh shit. I promised no introspection. Yeah - what it really means is: I woke up cranky without my coffee.

Thoughts while looking at the fridge and not finding lunch: I hope there is nothing in here since I don't feel like packing. I hate my job. I hate cooking. There are dishes and laundry to do. Maybe it's all his fault. Maybe I am talentless. I want to get to work so I can justify the freetime that is lunch. I live for the free hours during the day when I get to do what I want.

After finding nothing, I contemplate coming home for lunch. This will cramp my ½-hour hiking session, which is all I remotely have left of a fitness regimen. Then he says "why don't I come home, make lunch and bring it to you so that you can hike."

Jesus. Move over so I can burn your movie, you fucking saint.

Push button publishing: A great love affair

2005-04-26T09:19:00.000-07:00

After much hemming and hawing about "I do web development ALL day it's the LAST thing I want to do when I get home." I have finally gotten my shit together after many thoughts of "I really should get those photos up. I really would like a blog." It took the simple, pedestrian and predictable market reaction of: I need to post pictures of my DOG, to get me to utilize all of the immediate beauty that is Flickr and Blogger. As someone who designs web and CSS all day I was so grateful, like anyone to not have to design another template, with thumbs, etc. to post on my own site.

THANK YOU, to the great designers and developers who make this possible. That said, I should work.

Oh and here are pictures of the dog:

View my mutt: http://flickr.com/photos/phatmunkay